The toilet opening had made the news
The previous day’s ceremonial reopening of Radio 1’s eighth-floor toilets had gone further than Scott and Chris expected.
An *Evening Standard* article reported that listeners had heard Chris apparently leave his microphone on during his trip to the loo.
The show had the article voiced dramatically, turning an extremely minor broadcasting accident into a full news bulletin.
Scott replayed the sequence:
Chris cutting the ribbon.
Chris announcing the first ceremonial wee.
Scott starting Snoop Dogg’s *Drop It Like It’s Hot*.
And somebody in the studio suddenly realising the microphone was still live.
Scott and Chris held an emergency press conference
There was only one responsible response.
A formal statement.
Scott announced himself and Chris in the serious tone of somebody addressing a national crisis.
The statement said there would be no further comments.
Chris immediately broke that rule by insisting there was no evidence the sound on the microphone had been *his* urine.
Scott ended the press conference before the defence became any less convincing.
Lorna attended a speed-awareness course on Zoom
Listener Lorna then explained how speed-awareness courses worked during lockdown.
Instead of spending hours in a classroom, the whole thing happened on Zoom.
Cameras had to remain on.
Participants were expected to pay attention.
If somebody was caught messing around on their phone, they risked being removed and receiving the points they had hoped to avoid.
Scott admitted that his instinct would have been to switch the camera off.
Lorna explained that this was exactly why the camera rule existed.
Smart-motorway speed limits were a genuine lesson
Lorna had misunderstood variable motorway signs.
She thought a temporary 50 or 60 mph limit displayed above the road was more like advice to slow down.
It was not.
It was the actual legal speed limit.
The course explained how variable limits can regulate traffic flow and reduce build-up.
Scott initially found the educational content painfully boring.
Then he admitted it was probably useful because he had not properly understood it either.
Blow Your Own Trumpet returned
Tuesday’s fanfare again rewarded anything making listeners feel good about themselves.
The feature followed the same principle as the speed-awareness story.
Sometimes the thing somebody needed to feel proud of was large.
Sometimes it was simply learning something they should probably have known already.
COMMENTS