Could fake football crowds improve the radio?
With football being played behind closed doors, broadcasters had started adding artificial crowd noise.
Scott wondered whether the same trick could improve Radio 1.
The show experimented with stadium noise underneath ordinary links and later let the imaginary crowd react to a Bangers choice. TLC’s *Creep* received enthusiastic approval; Alex Gaudino’s *Destination Calabria* was greeted rather less warmly.
The idea was ridiculous, but it fitted a summer in which television football had suddenly made the sound of crowds something broadcasters could switch on and off.
Charlotte’s lockdown crush on Chris was still going
The show checked back in with Charlotte, who had previously admitted that lockdown had somehow made her fancy Chris.
Her attraction had not disappeared.
Scott continued to treat this as one of the more alarming side effects of isolation, while Chris was happy to accept any evidence that his appeal was growing.
The running joke worked because Charlotte herself seemed fully aware that normal life might eventually return and cause her to question what had happened.
Anne-Marie’s mix started with Doja Cat
Anne-Marie joined to choose some of her favourite records.
She opened with Doja Cat’s *Like That*. Scott immediately suggested a Doja Cat and Anne-Marie collaboration, an idea Anne-Marie liked.
The conversation also touched on Anne-Marie’s own lockdown recording. Without normal studio access, vocals and parts had to be recorded remotely and sent around rather than made in the usual way.
Her lockdown hobby had produced about a hundred potatoes
Scott had noticed Anne-Marie posting about growing vegetables and wanted an update.
She said the whole thing had partly started because her friends assumed she would never stick at it.
Instead she was growing potatoes, strawberries, tomatoes and sugar snap peas and had recently planted cucumber.
The potatoes caused the biggest surprise. Because everything was happening underground, Anne-Marie thought the plants had failed. She pulled them up expecting nothing and discovered what she estimated was around a hundred potatoes.
Scott pointed out that this was exactly the sort of hobby she probably would never have had time for before lockdown.
When forced to choose between performing *2002* to a crowd or owning an allotment full of her vegetables, Anne-Marie initially picked the allotment before trying to combine both ideas into an allotment-themed stage show.
The mix reflected the moment
Anne-Marie explained that some of her selections had been shaped by the Black Lives Matter movement and by protests she had attended.
She chose Lauryn Hill’s *Doo Wop (That Thing)*, praising Hill as one of the greatest rappers.
The conversation then moved to Tion Wayne and Stormzy. Anne-Marie liked the contrast between Tion’s personality and delivery and the relative rarity of hearing directly from Stormzy outside his music.
Scott told her that Tion had recently explained how a completed video had been scrapped and remade after Stormzy decided he wanted to appear.
It was a mix built around records Anne-Marie genuinely loved rather than simply songs she was promoting.
Scott accidentally conducted a Radio 1 popularity contest
A listener conversation began to sound like market research, so Scott decided they might as well make it official.
He started asking people which Radio 1 presenters they listened to and how often, treating the live show as a homemade audience survey.
At first this seemed like useful information.
Then the texts arrived.
Listeners enthusiastically ranked Greg James, Clara Amfo, Jordan North, Annie Mac, Matt and Mollie and others. Scott and Chris were sometimes near the top, sometimes lower down and occasionally missing completely.
One listener said they preferred Chris with Jordan rather than with Scott. Another put Scott and Chris down in fourth place.
Scott responded in the mature way expected of serious audience research: people giving answers he disliked were declared banned from listening.
The more responses arrived, the more obvious it became why presenters are not normally allowed to run their own listening surveys live on air.
Tap End attempted the lunchtime pizza record
The archive instalment of *24 Years at the Tap End* returned to Chris and his friends planning their own all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut challenge.
There was no official competition and no prize. They had simply decided that whoever could eat the most buffet slices would win the respect of the group.
Chris prepared by having only a small bowl of cereal and wearing comfortable trousers. Around eight friends took part.
Different strategies emerged. Some ate quickly, while Chris tried to pace himself. Some concentrated on straightforward margarita slices while others went for heavier toppings.
Chris began struggling after around six slices and eventually hit the wall. Hearing Heather Small over the restaurant speakers briefly inspired him to force down one more.
The real contest came down to Webo and Chango, known as “the Beast”.
Webo made it to 18 slices.
Chango developed a system in which he alternated a normal slice with one covered in Parmesan as though the cheese somehow turned every second slice into pudding.
He eventually reached 24 slices.
Chris later returned with a framed certificate and wanted the restaurant to recognise Chango’s achievement. The staff, unsurprisingly, were not interested.
Chris still felt there should have been a plaque.
COMMENTS