Kevin Jonas and the celebrity marriages that hurt
A conversation about the Jonas Brothers and DNCE led Scott and Chris to Kevin Jonas, who they jokingly treated as the sibling most likely to be forgotten when people listed the brothers. They remembered the reality series *Married to Jonas* and started talking about celebrities whose marriages had genuinely upset fans who had maintained an unrealistic private hope of ending up with them.
Listeners supplied the names that had once broken their teenage hearts. The discussion was less about serious heartbreak than the very specific feeling of discovering that the famous person on your bedroom wall had made the unreasonable decision to marry somebody else.
Chris celebrated Watford’s 4–1 win over Chelsea
Chris was delighted after Watford beat Chelsea 4–1. Scott challenged the way football supporters say “we won” when they had personally spent the match watching rather than contributing on the pitch.
Chris defended the collective language of football fandom, arguing that supporters still contribute to the result through the atmosphere and backing they give the team. Scott remained unconvinced that this qualified Chris to share direct credit for four goals against Chelsea.
Confessions of a club promoter
Promoter Claire joined the programme to reveal what happened behind the scenes of nightclub photography. One of the most common emergencies involved somebody appearing in the background of a club photograph kissing or cuddling a person they very much did not want their partner to know about.
Claire described one particularly panicked request from a woman who had appeared in a series of crowd shots kissing somebody else. She contacted the venue through several social-media channels because she wanted every trace removed. Her explanation was that she had already told her partner, but the urgency of the messages suggested the photographs were still a serious problem.
Scott and Chris concluded that social media had made the old strategy of behaving badly on a night out and hoping nobody noticed considerably harder to sustain.
Backwards Girl challenged Backwards Boy
Jake’s instant word-reversing ability from the previous week had prompted Sarah to get in touch. She realised she could do the same thing, usually performing the reversal silently in her head without ever thinking of it as a skill. Even her husband had not known she could do it.
Sarah was convinced she was faster, so Backwards Boy returned for a live head-to-head. Scott and Chris fired words at them including Batman, booby trap, solicitor, Facebook, Christopher, aluminium, flabbergasted, hurricane, computer and xylophone. The contest stayed close enough to require a final challenge.
The deciding phrase was: “I want Biggest Weekend tickets.” Sarah reversed it faster and took the title of Backwards Girl. Scott and Chris briefly tried to imagine turning the pairing into some kind of backwards-themed romance, before the fairly important fact that Sarah was already married brought that line of planning to an end.
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