Breakfast with very large coffee
Scott and Chris began two weeks covering the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. Chris arrived with canvas shoes that smelled like sweets, while Scott relied on an enormous Sports Direct mug to supply enough coffee for the unfamiliar hours.
The entertainment stories included Kylie Jenner’s 18th birthday and the extravagant car she had reportedly received. Scott and Chris compared it with their own habit of quietly passing unwanted shower-gel sets and promotional gifts on to somebody else.
Niall on hair, age and One Direction
Niall Horan called after the surprise success of Drag Me Down. He had maintained essentially the same hairstyle while other members of One Direction repeatedly cut, coloured and restyled theirs, which led Scott to ask the question occupying the programme: who would go bald first?
Niall trusted his family history and described his own hair as strong. Harry Styles had considerably more of it, but Niall warned that a large mane could still disappear suddenly when its owner reached 30. He also thought his youthful face would survive well into middle age and imagined himself at 45 with the same highlights.
Listeners immediately produced mocked-up photographs of bald members of the group. Niall was also one of the few people allowed to call Scott “Scotty”, an exception earned through years of interviews.
Instant Dragons’ Den
Scott introduced a way for inventors to avoid applications, studio lifts and months waiting for television. He claimed to have obtained Deborah Meaden’s home number and offered to connect a caller directly for an immediate pitch.
Lee called from a motorway service station with a cheese-on-toast toaster. His machine would lie on its side, hold the bread and cheese together and remove the risks involved in repeatedly reaching under a grill. Deborah quickly identified the existing toasted-sandwich maker, questioned Lee’s unsupported £30 price and exposed that his financial research mostly involved adding up numbers.
The pitch lacked the preparation of a real Dragons’ Den appearance, but that was the point. Lee went from a van to a conversation with a formidable dragon in seconds, establishing a feature that would return throughout the Breakfast fortnight.
Real or No Real included a false claim that Alan Titchmarsh, 5 Seconds of Summer and Emma Watson had joined an exclusive dating app for celebrities. The transcript repeatedly calls Deborah “Davina McCall”, but the programme, her Dragons’ Den role and the dialogue identify Deborah Meaden.
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