Black Friday arrives in Britain
Videos of shoppers fighting over discounted televisions convinced Scott and Chris that Black Friday had crossed the Atlantic badly. One of Chris’s friends entered the sales, while his girlfriend sent urgent links to possible presents.
Scott advised him to preserve their normal tradition: wait until Christmas Eve, plan the fastest route through the shops, buy everything in roughly twenty-six minutes and retreat to the pub. The pressure made the trip an annual bonding exercise.
A bird inside another bird
Scott began planning presents and found a five-bird roast for Chris. The idea recalled previous gifts including novelty plates, a personalised jigsaw and the mat Scott had bought Chris’s mother with “I like it dirty” printed across it.
Listeners guessed increasingly implausible birds before the product description settled it: chicken, turkey, duck, goose and guinea fowl, layered with pork, sage and onion stuffing, streaky bacon and cranberry glaze. Ten-bird alternatives existed, encouraging demands for even more birds.
Liam enters the discussion
Liam Payne unexpectedly phoned. Scott briefly demanded proof until Liam reminded him that his father had trained Scott during Strictly.
Asked what somebody in the world’s biggest band could want for Christmas, Liam had no clear answer. His family were running a £20 Secret Santa and his girlfriend had imposed a rule that he could not ask his personal assistant to buy the gift.
Liam normally supplied an idea and delegated the search. Forced to do it himself, he planned to browse websites for personalised items or unnecessary gadgets. He did not want fans to assume he expected extravagant presents and said his family were still good at finding ordinary things he needed.
Radio jokes escape into serious places
Listener Adam had attended a meeting at a vicarage about rebuilding a village hall. When the local Akela suggested sending Scouts out during Bob-a-Job Week, Adam instinctively responded with the show’s “who” noise.
The vicar, his wife, parish councillors and Scout leaders met it with blank silence. Only a sixth-form representative appeared to understand. Other listeners admitted saying “Love you, bye” to supermarket staff and bosses, “nice to see you sober” in business meetings and “who” to doctors and police suspects.
The examples showed how easily the programme’s language escaped into places where nobody else knew the joke.
Black Friday becomes Stop It Saturday
Alice Levine played Real or No Real. Lily Allen really had changed the chorus of “Hard Out Here” to “hard out here for a fish” while performing under Dubai’s language restrictions, Justin Bieber and will.i.am had lived near one another, and George Ezra once used Flik from A Bug’s Life as his MSN profile picture.
The show ended by rejecting a retailer’s attempt to extend the sale into “Black Saturday”. Scott renamed it Stop It Saturday and left Dev to cover Monday before returning in December for the beginning of winter bulking.
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