Something happened with a global superstar
Scott and Chris arrived after an unusually stressful morning but were forbidden from explaining it. A global superstar had been involved, Chris had been held somewhere for two hours and he believed Scott had crossed one of the rules of their friendship.
Scott apologised with a large delivery of fried chicken and promised that listeners would hear the result in about two weeks. Chris accepted that it would be good for the show but began planning revenge on a much longer timescale.
Chris explains healthy eating
The chicken led into a test of foods Chris regarded as healthy. Toasted bread qualified, as did pasta with vegetables, fish fingers, sweet-potato chips, peanut butter and jam. His reasoning for jam was simply that it contained strawberries. Fruit cake and carrot cake also benefited from the presence of produce, regardless of sugar and oil.
Chocolate raisins, pancakes, cider, cranberry sauce and tomato ketchup entered the same confused category. Scott contrasted this with the old bodybuilding documentary participant whose entire daily plan consisted of fish and rice cakes at repeated intervals.
The man himself, Danny Andrews, unexpectedly called. He confirmed the famous diet, remembered smelling of fish during a haircut and said he now ate normally, including sandwiches, crisps and chocolate.
Brian Butterfield offers another plan
Scott found Peter Serafinowicz’s Brian Butterfield diet. The weekday menu offered one toasted cornflake, a small raw potato, a lettuce leaf, a single baked bean and ice cubes with sweetener.
Saturday compensated as treat day with pizza, egg-and-ham slabs, sandwich casserole, fluffy ruffs and mystery meat. Its logic was not much further from Chris’s own system than either wanted to admit.
A necessary Bumbleleo
After the secret morning ordeal and the nutrition debate, Chris needed Bumbleleo Wednesday. Listeners joined from ambulances, laboratories, traffic jams, offices, Rotterdam and Dallas. The online description of the feature said Scott played the song while Chris became overexcited and “does what he wants”, which both accepted as accurate.
Alice Levine joined Real or No Real while waiting to learn whether Gareth Malone’s All Star Choir had reached number one. The feature’s claims were unusually poor, but the choir’s chart prospects mattered more. Scott also noticed a new audience following him after Strictly: one woman simply pointed at him after a run and announced, “television”.
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