Scott survives another weekend
Scott had progressed through week five of Strictly Come Dancing. Chris watched from the audience in his “Vote Scott” shirt and had threatened to challenge Craig Revel Horwood if the criticism became too severe, although his seat was far enough back to prevent an easy stage invasion.
Public support continued to carry Scott through as the technical standard rose. He had improved in rehearsal but still forgot elements under pressure, including a moment when he failed to collect Joanne Clifton during the routine.
Judge Rinder restores the shade
Judge Rinder returned to provide the response Chris’s support had lacked. He was amazed Scott remained in the competition, questioned the movement of his hips and ankles, and suggested that jazz hands should have been mastered in childhood.
Scott explained that he learned routines more quickly than before but sometimes lost them on the night. Rinder compared one of the lifts less to ballroom choreography than a wrestling move and encouraged him to contribute something to the community if he could not yet release his hips.
The judgement was severe but familiar. Scott had made Rinder part of the weekly routine because his theatrical criticism was easier to enjoy than anonymous abuse.
People who have never been dumped
A friend had called Scott after experiencing his first break-up. The conversation lasted far longer than most modern telephone calls and made Scott wonder about people who had never been dumped.
Chris said no partner had ended a relationship with him, although he had not considered this an achievement until Scott raised it. Listeners who had always left first, married their first partner or recognised the end early enough to pre-empt it began to contact the show.
An awkward tenancy begins
Chris was moving house at the weekend. Scott called the real estate agent and passed him questions that had to be read aloud for as long as the agent remained on the line.
Chris asked whether celebrities were allowed, whether he could walk around naked, install a mirror on the ceiling and plant pampas grass outside. The agent calmly answered each question and explained which alterations would require approval, apparently determined not to lose a tenant over an unusual lifestyle.
Greg James played Real or No Real. One true claim said women tended to judge men with narrow faces, long noses and thin chins as more intelligent. Scott concluded that his rounder face left him at a disadvantage and began comparing Greg to a horse.
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