Luke Campbell discovers S-Dosser
Olympic boxing champion Luke Campbell called from Dancing on Ice rehearsals while the cast were listening to S-Dosser. Luke had already punched Chris during an earlier visit, but this time the conversation centred on whether “Hanging in the Morning” could accompany an ice-skating routine. Pamela Anderson had been eliminated after a wardrobe problem before hearing it, which Scott regarded as a missed opportunity to improve her performance.
Luke was preparing for his first routine that Sunday after four weeks of practice. If he survived, every later performance would have to be learned in about four days. He promised to request S-Dosser for the following week, assuming the producers had no objection, and Scott urged listeners to vote for him so the unlikely combination of an Olympic boxer, prime-time skating and Chris’s friend’s homemade dance track could actually happen.
Dear Scott
A listener thanked the programme for inspiring a Boxing Day meal which wrapped sausage in bacon and then turkey. Chris proposed adding stuffing between the layers and dipping the finished construction in mayonnaise, while another suggestion involved wrapping potato around it. Nobody established how a potato could be wrapped around meat, although hollowing one out or simply using a hot-dog roll were offered as practical alternatives.
Dan, who had stood near Scott’s DJ booth on New Year’s Eve, sent a diplomatically worded message thanking him for the celebratory mood and hoping he would remember the countdown next time. Scott again apologised for using a slow phone and explained that people at the back had been able to see Big Ben and a large countdown while he remained unaware at the front. Playing “Auld Lang Syne” after everybody else had already entered 2013 had not repaired the timing.
A toothbrush on the first date
Katie described a first date at a restaurant whose name rhymed with “Cranky and Jenny’s”. The evening had gone well until the man opened his wallet to pay and revealed a toothbrush sticking out of it. He explained that, if he got lucky, he wanted to be fresh the next morning. Katie found the assumption so insulting that she slapped him and left.
Scott and Chris defended the toothbrush as unusually respectful preparation, although Beccy found it presumptuous. They wondered how a full-sized toothbrush could fit into a wallet and proposed carrying a spare electric-brush head instead. The date divided listeners over whether planning ahead was considerate or whether openly displaying the evidence on a first meeting guaranteed the opposite result.
The Lad Bag
The debate became a business pitch. Scott proposed vending machines in pubs and clubs which would dispense a complete “Lad Bag” for an unexpected overnight stay. It could contain a toothbrush, toothpaste, face wipes and other useful items, avoiding the embarrassment of storing a toothbrush in a wallet.
Nightclub vending machines already sold miniature brushes, condoms and assorted novelty products, so the team believed a compact prepared bag could fit alongside them. The contents became less clear as increasingly improbable suggestions were added, including something which sounded like an inflatable sheep. Scott nevertheless considered calling his regular business adviser Deborah Meaden, convinced that there was a genuine product hidden inside the joke.
Real or No Real
Elephants really could recognise themselves in a mirror, although the team struggled to imagine how researchers knew that the animal was admiring itself rather than reacting to another elephant. Joe Swash had not spent two weeks in hospital after discovering an allergy to llama wool, and people really were more likely to tilt their heads to the right while kissing. Scott and Chris practised on their hands before attempting to decide which direction felt natural.
After two years of use, roughly a third of a pillow’s weight could consist of dead skin, bugs, dust mites and their droppings. The claim exposed how little Chris knew about replacing pillows or choosing a duvet tog, which Scott regarded as another consequence of still living at home. Keith Chegwin had not completed 21 keepy-uppies with a hash brown, frozen or otherwise. Scott and Beccy finished level on 48 points, bringing the first week of 2013 to a draw.
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