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6 September 2012: Gemma Cairney drenches Chris in Innuendo Bingo

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6 September 2012: Gemma Cairney drenches Chris in Innuendo Bingo

 

Gemma Cairney drenches Chris in Innuendo Bingo

Gemma Cairney warmed up for Innuendo Bingo by filling her mouth with water while Chris attempted American, Australian, Scottish and German accents. He barely began before she laughed, confirming that his voices could have supported a game of their own. Gemma had previously played with milk and was relieved to find ordinary water waiting this time, although she promised not to hold back against Chris.

The clips began with oriental jugs on Cash in the Attic and advice about sleeping with a pet. Eamonn Holmes struggled to hear somebody far away, aircraft thundered towards a runway with their undercarriage barely clearing a chimney pot, and Radio 1’s creative juices ran dry on a bench. Gemma’s small initial sprays became much larger as the game progressed.

Matt Baker’s attention to Maureen Lipman’s back garden sent water everywhere, leaving Gemma’s denim dress and chair soaked. Olympic commentary about one athlete coming down on top of another, photographs of battered helmets, an oversleeping Sarah whose door needed banging and a red and purple cycling-helmet sequence kept both players laughing. Gemma eventually abandoned any attempt to avoid the wet chair, sprayed Chris directly and earned Scott’s verdict that she was his favourite contestant yet.

Dundee, Beccy and the shared room

Scott had performed at Dundee University the previous evening, with Beccy acting as his hype person by shouting “Go on, pigs” and throwing shirts to the crowd. Their late hotel arrival became awkward when they were told only a double room remained. Although Scott said he would have accepted a twin, Beccy refused to share any room with him despite their years working together.

Scott suspected that the hotel had mistaken them for a couple, while Chris questioned whether the booking had genuinely been an accident. The story recalled the occasion when Scott had entered Gemma Thinks and offered to share a bed with Beccy, an offer she had rejected just as quickly.

Chris sells his exploding-husband story

Twin B from 1Xtra Breakfast played a new Oh! What’s Occurring? challenge. Chris called a real-life magazine without knowing what story he would have to pitch until Scott handed him the headline “My dead husband stopped me exploding”. He introduced himself as Chris, immediately changed his name to Pete Long and claimed that Chris had actually been the dead husband occupying his thoughts.

Chris invented a condition that made him feel as though he might explode, then said his husband’s ghost had appeared wearing a sheet and warned him not to. The magazine representative calmly asked about medical evidence and photographs. Chris claimed to have images, and possibly an accidental video, of the ghost bearing down on him and waving his arms. He kept the conversation going for two minutes and 30 seconds, the correct answer chosen by the listeners, before being invited to send the material for consideration.

Dear Scott

The Posh Radio 4 Lady delivered Dear Scott from a Spanish villa, with her fictional companion Raoul supposedly waiting nearby. Letters defended hash-brown sandwiches, suggested measuring the water retained during Innuendo Bingo to create a league table and requested a celebratory Watford chant for Chris. Another listener found a French song called “Co-Pilot” whose airline imagery resembled Scott’s “Mile High Club”, while Jennifer Lopez’s “Goin’ In” appeared to share part of its melody.

Other messages praised the irresistible awkwardness of Sing Date and offered Dale Winton’s former coffee table for the planned celebrity-furniture cafe. Scott accepted that the table was not an electrical appliance but thought it important enough to include if its owner was willing to part with it.

Bryce Lovin stops a Natasha Bedingfield concert

Show introducer Bryce Lovin called from Arkansas and explained how he had interrupted a Natasha Bedingfield performance in St Louis. A paper wristband became stuck to her shoe, and Bryce and the people at the front spent three songs watching it flap around before he shouted her name between tracks. Natasha stopped, removed it and thanked him for caring enough to tell her, unlike a date who had waited until the end of an evening to mention something trapped in her teeth.

Twin B returned for Real or No Real. The record of 46,001 press-ups in one day and a phobia of beautiful women were genuine; Peter Stringfellow’s supposed fear of roast potatoes and the claim that Saddam Hussein had been born Steve were not. Twin B and Scott finished level on 30 Danny Howard points each.

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