Scott talks to men in the toilet
Scott finally launched an idea whose jingle had been made about five years earlier. He believed men concealed their real opinions when their friends were present, so Chris went into a pub toilet to question them individually. The first subjects were One Direction, whom Scott suspected men secretly liked, and curry, where he thought peer pressure made people claim to prefer vindaloo when they really wanted a korma.
Chris sat in a cubicle with his trousers around his ankles and used a cough to tell the studio whenever somebody entered. His planned opening line was a request for toilet roll, but the first visitor disappeared before the interview could begin. Scott and Beccy left him there through a song in the hope that another man would arrive.
The next visitor passed toilet paper under the door and answered the One Direction question. He thought the band were all right but said their three prizes at the MTV Video Music Awards were “a bit over the top” when they had only had one hit. Another man said he did not know the band and told Chris to “crack on”, while the hoped-for revelation about everybody secretly wanting a mild curry never materialised.
Scott decided the first attempt had not been especially successful, but enjoyed it enough to preserve the experiment. Chris could not immediately leave because the men outside would identify him as the stranger who had questioned them about One Direction and curry from a cubicle.
Rachel’s encounter with Florence Welch
Show introducer Rachel had made a fan banner for Florence and the Machine and asked a friend to throw it towards the stage at a concert. It struck Florence Welch’s cape, producing a moment when the singer appeared distinctly unimpressed. Florence then picked it up and smiled, and two days later Rachel discovered that she had posed with the banner in a photograph published online.
Rachel also challenged Chris to an Australian-accent contest. Her version of “G’day, mate” and a suggestion that they throw another shrimp on the barbecue easily defeated his, although Chris attempted to salvage his reputation by asking for “a water” in his own familiar accent.
Beccy finds a Time Lord in her lavatory
For Oh! What’s Occurring?, Beccy again called a real-life magazine without knowing the story she would have to sell. The headline revealed to her after the call connected was “There’s a Time Lord in my lav”, which she interpreted as Doctor Who repeatedly appearing in her downstairs toilet.
Calling herself Lorraine, she told the patient magazine worker that Doctor Who was still in the house and usually appeared in the evening. He noticed her, said hello and continued using the lavatory, although Beccy had never asked what he was doing there. The interviewer calmly established that Beccy meant the character rather than the actor and asked whether she could supply photographs to substantiate the story.
Beccy improvised for three minutes and 30 seconds before being invited to call back with photographic evidence. That made the middle option correct and earned 20 points for listeners who had expected a long conversation without an actual sale. Scott thought she had performed impressively given the headline, although Beccy regretted not deciding more quickly precisely what Doctor Who had been doing.
Chris reviews Brokeback Mountain properly
Chris returned to Brokeback Mountain after falling asleep 15 minutes into it while attempting his first review on Friday. He invited his friend Dougsy over on Sunday with beer, snacks and leftover Chinese food, still expecting a traditional Western about two ranchers living the American dream.
The film began as Chris anticipated, with Jack and Ennis herding sheep, playing the harmonica and enjoying what he called “a solid bromance”. He became uncomfortable when events in the tent made clear that he had misunderstood the relationship. Dougsy announced that he had an early morning and left, while Chris finished the film alone.
Chris was disappointed by the shortage of shoot-outs and hoedowns and concluded that it was not a Western in the sense he had expected. He awarded three and a half “Starks”, one fewer than in his original half-watched review. Scott explained that the film’s relationship was not peculiar to the Wild West and decided Chris’s uninformed approach could become a useful guide to films people felt they should already have seen.
Ronna and Beverly interview Scott
American comedy characters Ronna and Beverly arrived to promote their Sky Atlantic chat show, but reversed the normal arrangement by interviewing Scott. They discussed earlier guests including Claudia Winkleman, David Walliams and Charles Dance, then immediately questioned whether “Scott” was short for anything and told him he had a baby face.
Scott explained that he had begun in radio by volunteering at a hospital station when he was 12. They reinterpreted this as forcing himself onto an audience too ill to complain, then asked whether he had carried out any surgery. A discussion of Embarrassing Bodies followed, with the pair marvelling at people who said they were too frightened to visit a doctor but were prepared to reveal their condition on television.
They examined Scott’s acting career, asking whether he had appeared in Harry Potter and proposing him as the operator of a Hogwarts radio station. When Scott pointed out that Hagrid was not a child, they reassigned him as the station’s adviser and pressed on.
His Celebrity Mastermind specialist subject, Australian prison drama Prisoner: Cell Block H, was treated as evidence of panic rather than expertise. They contrasted his 23 points with Stacey Solomon’s performance on questions about The Inbetweeners, then asked about his ambition beyond radio and suggested he should pursue a Ryan Seacrest-style television career.
Asked which British celebrities they disliked, Ronna and Beverly named Ross Kemp because he had distracted their hotel omelette chef with stories about Mexican streets while ordering three omelettes. Bear Grylls fared much better: they admired his willingness to eat insects and joked that he would rather spend the year with a bear than with his family. Scott ended the encounter delighted by the interrogation and looking forward to their programme.
Real or No Real
Beccy and Scott finished with Real or No Real. The genuine claims were that Shakespeare introduced the word “swagger” and that God had been sued, including by a Nebraska state senator seeking to demonstrate the breadth of access to the courts. Claims that everybody in Swindon had been called Keith until 1932, South Korean scientists had made glow-in-the-dark cats and Danny Howard owned an ostrich farm but no shoes were rejected. Beccy won the game by 40 points to 30.
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