Matt Edmondson gets soaked in Innuendo Bingo
Birthday listener Craig introduced himself as a television game-show addict who had appeared on Countdown, Blockbusters and Pointless. He had reached the crucial conundrum on Countdown but lost when his opponent solved “degrades”, while his chance to appear on The Weakest Link disappeared when the programme was cancelled. Craig planned to celebrate turning 21 with a barbecue in Shetland and an Olympic-themed pub crawl dressed as one of the Games’ mascots.
Matt Edmondson arrived for his first Innuendo Bingo wearing very short shorts and flip-flops but no change of clothes. He briefly considered playing in his white underwear before noticing that the studio cameras were in high definition. Facing Chris, Matt tried to protect his clothes by spitting politely to one side, only to be told that holding back defeated the purpose of the game.
Clips about a sailor taking out his cannon, a moving wind section, custard, “Fingeringhoe” and an antiques expert inspecting a monkey gradually drenched both players. Matt’s claim that his shorts were water-resistant proved false and they developed a particularly unfortunate wet patch. Phil Spencer’s “pink buffer with golden shower” caused more trouble before Joan Collins’s familiar line about pouring champagne over her kumquats ended the contest.
Auditions continued for the Fun and Filth Cabaret. Jake demonstrated fire poi from his garden, while another listener named Matt played Coldplay’s “Clocks” on a melodica and sounded so much like Chris Martin that Scott became suspicious. John offered a rambling Mrs Doubtfire impression which included looking after children and shouting “drive-by fruiting”, although Scott was unsure how much of it had come from the film.
Scott’s basic emergency phone inspired a plan for the team to bring in their old mobiles, charge them in the studio and discover the forgotten messages, photographs and videos stored on them. The game was intended to make them guess whose phone each item came from without allowing anybody to delete embarrassing evidence first. In Oh, What’s Occurring?, a BBC Breakfast physiotherapist said “absolutely” 16 times during one interview, narrowly beating listener Fiona’s prediction of 14.
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