Chris becomes the Sexy Mexican and earns absolutely nothing
Liam introduced the show after secretly replacing a university library portrait with a picture of his own face. He and a friend had placed his head over the body of a professor in the original frame during a late-night revision session. The altered picture had remained on the wall unnoticed for more than a year, inspiring Scott and Chris to consider putting photographs of themselves into shop frames and even the National Gallery.
Chris believed musicians who approached outdoor restaurant tables made a fortune and decided to test the theory alone so he would not have to divide the takings. He put on a sombrero, blue sunglasses and an egg-yellow Hulk Hogan moustache, carried a guitar and dangling rose, then walked towards diners while Beccy watched from behind a tree across the road.
Introducing himself as “the Sexy Mexican”, Chris sang Jessie J’s “Price Tag” and “Do It Like a Dude” in an improvised accent. The first tables stared, smiled and told him to leave without offering money. A group of unhappy-looking businessmen proved no more generous, and Chris abandoned the experiment after earning nothing, admitting that Scott and Beccy had been right about the supposed money-making scheme.
Chris remained troubled by Hackney Weekend because he thought it had been too good. Instead of making only a small improvement on the previous year, Radio 1 had produced a festival so impressive that he could not imagine how it could be bettered. He suggested that the organisers should merely have added an extra ice-cream van or burger stall, leaving enough room to claim another improvement the following year.
A Friday edition of Dear Scott discussed the team’s habit of pluralising names such as Asda, Oceana and George Michael, proposals for further celebrity nudie pens and Scott’s humiliating summons downstairs when his bus card failed. In Oh, What’s Occurring?, eight people were asked whether they loved “it” like Will.i.am loved it. Six agreed, giving Chris the points and providing a suitably awkward conclusion to June.
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