Snoop Dogg meets Chris’s terrible chick-lit novel
Chris’s Yes Man experiment was continuing to take him in unhelpful directions. After agreeing to everything, he had eaten an overfilled sandwich, run through fountains outside Louis Mariette, dried his jeans under a hand dryer and found people on Stupid Street suggesting he run naked down Oxford Street. Scott and Beccy pointed out that this was not quite the life-changing opportunity the experiment was supposed to create.
There was one more promising development. A man giving away chewing gum had offered Chris a job, which turned out to be unpaid gum distribution, and two strangers then asked him to go shopping with them. In a bookshop’s chick-lit section, Chris decided the bestselling romantic fiction looked easy to write and returned to the studio convinced he could become an author.
Beccy read examples from real novels to establish the genre’s dramatic language, then Chris unveiled his own first effort, The Demon Headmistress. His description of a woman as “more fillet fish than chicken nuggets”, “bronze like a teak mahogany bench” and “more hot than dog” did not persuade Beccy that he had found a second career. The story’s sudden appearance of “massive lug nuts” ensured it would not be mistaken for a conventional romance either.
Snoop Dogg was the day’s Legends Week guest, in Britain to promote Doggumentary. He thanked the UK for its long-running support, said he appreciated being included in the programme’s very broad definition of a legend, and explained that he wanted to make a talent show for undiscovered urban acts who did not fit the polished mould of existing television competitions.
Scott and Beccy quizzed him about his home and brand empire, learning that he had around 13 televisions, a 78-inch biggest screen, roughly 200 pairs of trainers with a dedicated room, Snoop Dogg towels and plans for a low-cost “Snooper Market”. He also discussed friends including David Beckham, who heard Snoop’s music before the label did, and his wish to support Britney Spears when she was struggling. It was a warm, wide-ranging interview, while Chris’s literary debut remained the show’s least likely route to fame.
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