Sara Cox creates Royal Wedding names and investigates strange wedding traditions
Sara’s final programme before the Royal Wedding had the atmosphere of a busy pre-event rehearsal. She had been filming for DePaul UK, a charity supporting young people facing homelessness, and explained that the visit had introduced her to Hannah, a young woman who had been helped by the organisation. Sara was pleased the filming had gone well, even if it involved having to borrow a bathroom to put on some make-up.
With the wedding a day away, Sara, Chris and the One Who Doesn’t Speak built their own version of aristocratic life. Listeners made Royal Wedding names by adding Lady or Lord to a grandparent’s name, their first pet and the road where they grew up. Sara’s own effort, Lady Anne Spud Tongue, was not quite the grand entrance she had hoped for, but entries such as Lady Dorothy Rasmatt’s Bridge gave the game the right amount of nonsense.
The programme also dwelt on the One Who Doesn’t Speak’s extraordinarily literal childhood pet names. His white rabbit had been Snowy and a cat with white paws had simply been called White Paws, inspiring a run of listener contributions about pets with names such as Stupid, Cat Face and Gary. Sara treated every example as proof that literal naming was much more entertaining than anyone had realised.
Gemma Cairney returned with a souvenir from her Coronation Street visit: a Roy’s Rolls placemat featuring a steam train, because Roy loved steam. Sara was genuinely thrilled by the gift and immediately imagined hanging it above her bed, while the pair discussed the surreal appeal of standing on the cobbles and seeing the sets that normally exist only on television.
For the day’s main wedding feature, Sara spoke to bride-to-be Michelle and presented customs from Germany, Scotland, Mexico and India. Michelle was unconvinced by a German log-sawing ritual, horrified by the Scottish practice of “blackening” the bride with unpleasant substances, and more receptive to a Mexican first dance inside a heart-shaped circle of guests. The exploration ended with Sara’s own verdict on the looming royal occasion: plenty of bunting, a lot of build-up, and absolutely no need for fish guts.
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