Chappers was back
Mark Chapman returned after a week away, giving the programme an excuse to welcome him with the kind of material he had missed rather than any dignified handover.
Hollyoaks turned measurement into a game
Actors associated with Max and OB were given sausages and asked to demonstrate what six inches looked like. The feature depended on the obvious innuendo but was played with the fake seriousness of a practical measurement exercise.
Scott’s holiday story was repackaged like celebrity news
The programme revisited the trip with his parents and the German holiday acquaintance Michael, mocking the way a trivial resort friendship could be presented as though it were a tabloid exclusive. David Hasselhoff material from a cooking appearance, including a count of his claps, added another exercise in paying far too much attention to a celebrity’s smallest behaviour.
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