Scott and Chappers compete for a part in The Bill with Barry Chuckle as judge, while the show also features a bizarre documentary about a woman married to the Eiffel Tower, plus Mr Wet Y-Fronts 1997 and Beccy’s Classifieds.
The episode opens with talk of a bowling night with Scouting for Girls, where Scott’s team was thoroughly beaten despite Scott’s surprise competence at the game. Roy from Scouting for Girls calls in to discuss the outing, confirming the dominance of his band and the struggles of “the one that doesn’t speak” on the lanes.
The main event is a theatrical acting challenge. Scott and Chappers perform scenes from famous films—Scott does John McClane from Die Hard and Jason Bourne, while Chappers tackles a scene from My Girl and then Sophie from Pretty Woman. Barry Chuckle, the guest judge, critiques their facial expressions and dramatic delivery. Chappers ultimately wins the part, though it turns out to be a modest role: sitting in the canteen of The Bill, buying tea and breakfast as a policeman extra.
The show features a substantial segment on Strange Love, a documentary about people in romantic relationships with inanimate objects. A woman named Nisha has married the Eiffel Tower (and also maintains relationships with the Berlin Wall and Golden Gate Bridge through models she carries). Another woman, Amy, is in love with a fairground ride. The segment includes comedy around Amy’s emotional goodbye scenes with the ride and the complications that arise when someone married to the Berlin Wall discovers her partner has been having an affair with another woman. This sparks a discussion with Beccy about marrying the Clifton Suspension Bridge.
The episode includes Beccy’s Classifieds, where Greg reads amusing classified ads: free sketches for a pound from Paul; flights to Sydney for £570; lace wigs for £10 (mishearing “Beyoncé”); hardcore building materials; 20-foot water slides for £10; and a free white silky rooster.
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