Radiohead drop in to play a specially devised quiz, Scott and Chappers ring the Chorley Citizen newspaper trying to sell them outrageous stories, and the show explores the burning question: how many five-year-olds could you actually fight?
The episode opens with “Calling the Papers,” a game where Scott and Chappers attempt to keep local journalists on the phone by pitching increasingly absurd stories. Scott leads with a tale about Michelle McManus swallowing his mum (24 seconds), while Chappers describes finding Michael Ball in a bedroom in Blackraught (38 seconds). Scott wins the round with a lengthy call about Dow Winton’s tanning disaster at a salon on Sunset Boulevard, staying on the line for over a minute by elaborating on his client’s burnt orange appearance and smoking injuries.
The main event features Tom and Ed from Radiohead taking over the show to play “Radiohead or Some Other Head,” a quiz where clips of songs must be identified as either Radiohead tracks or by artists with “head” in their name (including Beavis and Butt-Head, Techno Head, and Future Heads). The band eventually wins the quiz despite initial confusion.
The episode is dominated by a new website survey asking listeners how many five-year-olds they could fight under controlled conditions (enclosed space roughly basketball-court sized, everyone wearing groin protection, no weapons). The quiz considers body type, reach, balance, height, age, martial arts experience, fighting history, and moral compass. Scott scores 12 five-year-olds, surprising callers with much higher results: Luke claims 23, Pete gets 22, and Chris reaches 25. A primary school teacher scores 19. The feature generates genuine listener engagement, with Russell from a judo club calling in offering to arrange a real test with his ten under-five students.
The episode closes with a Pointless Survey asking whether Adele should give up or keep chasing pavements. Over 50% of respondents say she should give up, with one respondent worrying she might fall over.
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