Chappers is ill, Laura is constipated (although still working, but has the right to escape from the studio at any moment if, well, yknow…) and Scott has damaged his trapezium. However, the show isnt all as bad as it may sound its going to be.
Innuendo Bingo
Lots of innuendo bingos over the past 24 hours, including Annie Mac’s “Phil McCracken in Norwich”and, as our more high brow listeners pointed out, a bit of potty mouth from Radio 4: “As you see the picture, you wouldnt wanna be slapped by that tail… that is a big one”.
Song from an ex
Remember Nadine from a few weeks back? Thats the girl that sent n the song of her boyfriend trying to win her back when she caught him in the bathroom choking his very own chicken. Even though Scott tried to explain to her back then, that its a total boy thing, and thats just what they do, whether theyre in a relationship or not, she was still a bit miffed with him. Of course, the song didnt fail entirely, as she went back for one last bonk.
Back to todays show however, hes written yet another song for her, trying to win her over. But shes still not having it. This time, hes singing with his mate. Hes the second singer btw for anyone who listens back, i.e the one thats even worse than the really bad one that sings first.
Laura puts Scott on the spot, asking him what he’d do to win someone back. And as corporate as you like, replies with”I’d give them a shout out on national Radio 1″.Theres lots of suggestions of cooking the dump-er a lamb shank, to which he’d referred to in the show before. And no, lamb shanking has absolutely nothing to do with his sore back, obviously….
Harry Potter
Nick’s on the phone. He works in ASDA and tells us the delivery of the new Harry Potter book has just come in. Scott makes him go fetch a copy, and read us all out the last paragraph, just to save us all queueing, and then spending hours upon hours reading it, when all we really want to know is the ending.
“…and Harry lay there, dying.*
Hear that? Thats the sound of children weeping, adults screaming, and Nick being sacked. Of course, as traditions go, that was a joke. Only funny for us non Harry Potter fans i suppose.
Scott publicly apologises to all the staff having to stay behind in ASDA to answer phonecalls from distraught customers. To be perfectly honest, i was more miffed with Scott for letting me believe Harry Potter was dead, and then shortly after, shattering my dreams!
* Scott apologises for any distress caused.
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