Scott tests out a viral email of “seven hot things to say to a woman” by calling up colleagues and his own mum, with hilariously mixed results, then moves on to fortune cookie messages and the “add in bed/in my pants” game with listeners.
The show opens with Scott reading out an email from Luke Banks in Telford containing seven supposedly romantic lines to use on women. Scott and the team—including Laura—work through each one critically: “I love your eyelashes,” “sex with you just gets better and better,” “you look beautiful when you’re sleeping,” “the way you dance is really sexy,” “you have a wonderful laugh,” “you’re so clever,” and “your skin smells fantastic.” Laura points out most are inappropriate as opening lines, though “you have a wonderful laugh” gets cautious approval as it suggests personality rather than just appearance.
Scott then decides to test the lines by phoning two women. The first call goes poorly, but when he phones his mum Sandra, she responds positively to several compliments, laughing and flirting back—which Scott takes as proof the lines work, much to the team’s amusement and protestations.
Later, Scott shares fortune cookie messages from a meal with friends the night before. His own cookie contained the brutal message: “Your friends secretly agree that your head is too small for your body.” The team plays the popular “add in bed” game to fortune cookie messages, finding that most work better (or worse, depending on context) with this addition.
The show concludes with a listener calling in to introduce the “in my pants” game—adding “in my pants” to song titles for comic effect. Callers participate, offering examples like “The Girls in My Pants” (Calvin Harris) and “Holiday in My Pants” (Green Day).
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