Hello, it’s Hannah with a very different take on the Unofficial Mills reviews… you lucky people…
Unofficialmills.co.uk – The Home For All Things Scott Mills
16.12
Readers, I can tell you that today Chappers is wearing a lucky lemon shirt. Apparently he uses this for pulling. ew. WARNING GIRLS! LOOK OUT FOR MAN IN LEMON SHIRT THAT MIGHT TALK ABOUT SPORT A BIT AND GET THE RESULTS WRONG HANGING AROUND SCOTT MILLS. HE IS DANGEROUS.
THE HOFF WILL BE CALLING. Woooow. But when will he call? Maybe after he’s stopped signing his books in Asda. And surely, if he keeps pre-signed photos then he would have had to sign them earlier which would still take up valuable hours of his life… maybe someone does it for him, ohh, new career option!
16.24
Scott On Channel 4 News
Er, channel 4? May be some weird foreign satellite channel that no-one has ever heard of, like maybe Channel 76578262, but not channel 4… Unfortunately I did not manage see what would have been a marvellous piece of footage, but apparently Scott was talking about the Hoff campaign… seriously, CHANNEL 4?!
16.33
The Big Fax Hunt 2!
So, something to do with sports (sorry, wasn’t listening properly) was faxed through to a chippy. And Scott wants to know how many people STILL have faxes? I am innocent of this crime, anyway, they’re like the size of a house and you can upgrade to a scanner! Yes that’s right, scaaaanner. Anyway when Scott finds the fax number, the people who still live in the 90s can send a bit of paper through! Yay!
The Hoff Has Called!
He sounds like a perverted robot. Anyway, do you know he released a record in 1998? He did it in Brixton, the place with rock beaches, no actually he means Brighton. Scott says they will throw rocks at your head in Brixton. I see what he’s saying there. Rocks, bottles, benches, dustbins… AND LAURA HAS A DATE WITH THE HOFF! Haha. He even said, put the car on automatic self drive thingy, and they can be in the back seat… ewewewew…
4.58
Loads Of People Still Have Faxes!
Losers.
And Did Laura Tip The Hoff On Her Diary?
Whilst talking to the Hoff, Scott mentioned Laura, and he seemed to be quite familiar with the idea of Laura and her diary. But now the conspiracy theories are out… and I have to say the more Scott plays it, the more it sounds like the Hoff comes from the Hollyoaks School of Acting.
5.30
Scott Finalises Funeral Plans, Or Chappers Does Anyway…
Chappers, that is not exactly what my definition of a true friend is. If you ask me I think he’s just hanging around until Scott passes away and he is released. So Scott (Chappers) asked for his teeth to be given to medical science, because they were very white Chappers seemed to stress. Anyway, another request was for Scott to be stuffed. ew. And for maybe to have little electrical thingy ma jigs to be inserted, so maybe he could present his own funeral. Why would you do that? And the last request was for Elton John to attend and perform a rendition of Candle in the Wind written by Scott (Chappers). Chappers then went on to perform this to the guy on the phone. I’m sure it will be a podcast tomorrow. If not there’s always listen again.
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And that’s it for today. Please come back tomorrow. Jono needs visitors. BYE BYE!
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