Danny Howard takes over the show to present an X-Factor-style dating competition, holding auditions across the country to find the perfect boyfriend for Laura, who works on his show. The Nottingham auditions feature an unforgettable parade of hopefuls with increasingly bizarre talents and skills.
Danny Howard explains the premise: he and a panel including Laura and her father are holding X-Factor-style auditions to find Laura a date for one night. Listeners are invited to guess whether each auditionee gets through to the next round.
The standout contestants include Darren, a medieval and samurai sword-fighting enthusiast with battle armour and quarter staffs at home—rejected by Laura’s dad, who says he’d “never get to sleep at night” worrying about Laura’s safety. Lee arrives in full camouflage gear with face paint, works as an Army instructor, and genuinely impresses the panel with his personality and sense of humour, eventually getting through. Dave performs an earnest original song called “One Night We’ll All Run” but is rejected, leading to an awkward moment where Lee bursts out of the audition room celebrating his own success while Dave is still devastated outside.
Chris attempts to win Laura over with balloon modeling and then reveals a bed of nails, inviting Laura and her father to stand on him—a clearly uncomfortable and sinister stunt that gets him rejected. Ben opens with a self-deprecating joke about dating girls “whose photo is on the back of a bucket,” then reveals he plays a sparkly turquoise accordion. He performs a custom-written song with dark, intense facial expressions that earn him a “yes” from the judges.
The episode captures the chaotic energy of live radio dating auditions, with genuine reactions from panelists and plenty of awkward silences alongside genuine laughs.
COMMENTS