Alright Treacle?! Hope you’ve all had a good day?
Today it’s Laura and Chappers birthday. Scott isn’t into going on about birthdays. At this point normally the DJ would shower the team with gifts and sort out loads of A or Z list celebrities to leave a phone message or appear in the studio in person. Scott didn’t do that this year for Chappers because when Chappers used to work on Breakfast with Sara Cox she asked Chappers ‘who would you most like to walk in now on your birthday to present you with a cake’. Chappers said ‘Beyonce’ and in walked Holly Valance carrying a cake and a face like a slapped ar*e. Scott hasn’t bought Chappers a present because two Christmases ago he bought him a bottle of champagne and it’s still under his desk. Last Christmas Scott and Chappers agreed that they wouldn’t buy each other presents. Scott bought Laura a nice card where you could hear Cliff Richards sing ‘Happy Birthday’. He bought her a wine chiller: it chills wine in 3 minutes, cans in 1 minute and champagne in 6 minutes.
More Talk about Lemar Competition
Since the mention yesterday the competition has really heated up. The look-alike gallery is a lot fuller. You can win tickets to see Lemar at Maida Vale if you look like Lemar. They still haven’t put Chappers picture up.
More Birthday Talk
Scott was thinking that it’s Laura and Chappers birthday and a lot of the listener’s birthday as well – that there is a lot of it about today and around this time. One of the ones who doesn’t speak pointed out it’s a lot to do with Christmas. Somehow Scott got on to the subject of where people were conceived. He thinks it’s because there is nothing else to do. Scott asked Chappers if he knew where he was conceived. Chappers didn’t like the subject at all. He asked Scott if he knew where he was conceived and Scott changed the subject. Loads of people text in saying exactly when and where they were conceived – Scott thought it was wrong. A girl called Claire rang up saying she was conceived on or at Thistral Beach in Cornwall. Her parents wanted to call her Thistral, Scott said they could have called her Sandy. Phil rang up saying he was conceived under a table at a party. Chappers was going to ring Scott’s mum to find out where Scott was conceived but told him not to. Scott phoned some poor kid on the way home from school at the moment. Because they were talking about where people were conceived the boys mum decided to tell him where he was conceived. The boy was conceived on the antique rocking chair that is now in his bedroom. Another girl rang up and her mum told her she was conceived on the hallway floor of her Nan’s house and it was the first time her mum slept with her dad.
More of Scott’s puzzling Thoughts
Because winter is coming now Scott wants to know is girls do less maintenance and are girls secretly pleased that summer is over because they don’t have to shave as much. So Scott decided to ask Laura if she shaves less in the winter – she wanted to know where on the body he meant – he said generally, Chappers said legs. Laura said she still shaves her arms but not her legs as much. Donna off of Glasgow text and said: ‘come March she’ll be able to braid her legs. In winter she has legs like a coyote and her downstairs area looks like Jeremy Clarkson’s head. Chappers wants girls to stop texting what they do and don’t shave.
Reuniting Friends
Yesterday they did a game where someone tells Scott about two of their friends who have had a bit of a barny. Scott tries to get the two friends talking again. They ring the two friends up and put the calls together, so they both think that the other one has called them – just to make them talk. Stacey e-mailed in about her two friends Jeff and jess who used to go to university together a while back but they’ve recently fallen out over something stupid. Scott called them to try and get them back on speaking terms again. They weren’t on the phone long and I don’t really think it worked.
Scott has a new idea called ‘Celebrity Getting Friends Together’. He did have a reason for the game: ‘when you’re a celebrity it’s a sad; lonely life generally, you don’t know who to trust and the only friends you can have generally are other famous people because they understand the situation you’re in. Scott does agree. Chappers asked Scott some questions but he’ll leave it for his therapist. Back to the game, Scott calls two celebrities, puts the two calls together even though they don‘t know each other, but they can make a new friend. The first one is Jon Culshaw and matt Willis – the call didn’t work.
Snakes on a Train
Paul Fisher off of Doncaster really wants a copy of Snakes on a Train – the film Scott saw by accident. Scott thought he was buying Snakes on a Plane. There’s a copy of Snakes on a Train on e-bay selling for double figures. Some of the listeners have seen the film. One reviewer gave the film 1 out of 10, Scott said he would give it a 9.
The Honesty Game
The first caller wants to know ‘where they have put Chris Moyles’ award. Scott was given Charlotte Church’s award by mistake so Chris’ award is probably still at the Loaded office. They hid Charlotte Church’s award in the studio and someone nicked it – they don’t know who took it. Jenny off of Birmingham wants to know if Laura would look at a woman as well as a man. Laura is really happy with James at the moment and hasn’t yet looked at a woman but she wouldn’t rule it out. Ross wants to know if Scott has taken a picture of his wanger. Scott did get asked once but he didn’t but he nearly did. Chappers asked Scott if he took the picture but not send it – Scott’s answer is yes. Alistair off of Dorset wants to know if Chappers has had naughty thoughts about Laura. He’s never had naughty thoughts about Laura – she’s like an annoying older sister to him. Lee off of Plymouth wants to know if Scott earns a lot more than the one who doesn’t speak – yes Scott does.
COMMENTS