Afternoon Banter
Scott is back after two days off with man flu. He wanted to know what the difference was between man flu and actual flu. A lot of the men said that man flu is a terrible disease and he’s lucky to be alive – Chappers agreed as well. Someone else said man flu is ten times worse than any other flu that females might get and therefore men demand then times more attention and support. We found out that Scott finally changed his sheets – he changed them twice. And he didn’t skive off to avoid the late night edition of ‘The Honesty Game’ on Colin Murray’s show. Scott said it was like a period drama around his house, like where they have six doctors around you mopping your brow.
Dave Pearce still hasn’t got back to Chappers. This was all over the ‘Text Roulette’ game. Chappers thinks the whole thing was a rouse and dreamt up by Scott, so he would send something abusive in text form to Dave Pearce. Scott said: ‘Yes’. Chappers text the most offensive phrase in the English language today. At the BBC there is a table that ranks swear words and they move up and down the table depending what number they are. At the moment the three swear words that Scott got Chappers to put in his message to Dave Pearce are in the top three positions of the BBC Swear Chart.
Complaints
This idea of Scott’s all started when he was on about Big Brother. People reckon that if everyone complains, everyone’s going to want to watch it, and there now going to get an extra one million viewers. Scott’s idea is that if they do something to make people really complain on the show and everyone complained, they could get a million more new listeners. Leanne off of Leicester has complained about the show several times. Quite a few people have complained about Scott for years and he hasn’t even done anything wrong. People were texting their complaint to the Radio 1 number. The complaint only goes to Scott and nothing’s done. So far the only people complaining are people saying ‘that they’ve absolutely done nothing offensive so far on the show.’ Dom rang up with a complaint about the Bisto advert. When Scott played the Bisto advert his mum cried as well at the crocodile bit.
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Last night Laura watched a DVD because James wasn’t in. She watched the film ‘Beaches’, Laura watches it about three or four times a year, she used to watch the film more regularly than she does now. ‘Beaches’ is quite a camp movie and is quite old now and Bette Midler is in it. The film is about two best friends who grew up together and then one of them dies of cancer – and it’s quite sad. Every time she watches the film she cries quite a lot. Laura watches it to make herself cry or she used to before James came along. She has a theory that it’s quite good for you to have a cry every now and again. Back in the day before bJ (before James) Scott used to get texts nearly every other weekend going ‘I think I’ll just watch Beaches and stay in.’ In the studio Scott had a clip of Beaches for her to watch to see if she cried. Laura was just about ready to cry when Chappers ruined it by laughing and then made Laura laugh. He apologised – but I don’t think he meant it. Caroline rang up to say she loves the film and it makes her cry every time. ‘A Little Princess’ a children’s movie also make Laura’s laugh. Scott had another go at trying to make Laura cry. This time Chappers put his hood up and turned away from Laura. Scott played the Bisto advert and she cried. It was the bit where the little boy says my painting of a crocodile. Chappers said Laura was one of the weirdest people he’s ever met in his life. People on the text think maybe Laura is getting a little bit broody and that’s why the crocodile part made her cry. Laura bought a book in Radio 1 – it was called ‘The Contented Little Baby Book of Names’, she found the book upstairs. Scott’s noticed that Laura has started to knit. Laura is knitting a mouse and next a pair of bootees. Scott and Chappers think there’s something Laura isn’t telling them. Scott wants to know if they can do a test live on air and then they can read the results out – he doesn’t know what the test involves. Chappers explained to Scott that the girl has to wee on to a plastic box and then if you’re pregnant it comes up with a blue line or cross. Scott thought Chappers was winding him up.
Scott’s New Programmes
Tuesday night Scott discovered Shameless. He’s only missed the first three series of it. Scott is going to borrow the DVDs off Chappers. Also, he’s started watching Baby Borrowers on BBC Three.
Stuart the Bread Guy
Stuart got a new job at his local industrial estate working in an office. The company he worked for makes pressure cookers. Stuart got sacked from the job after four and a half days at work and was given an appraisal. The two comments on there were: failure to complete required working hours; he would leave work fifteen minutes early. The second comment was that he takes extended cigarette breaks; he smokes a pipe which turns his extended break into 25 minutes. He set the fire alarms off and had to leave the building with his Indian head massager still on his head. Stuart might try and claim un-wrongful dismissal.
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