Running Order
6.59 Celebrity Scissorhands
7.18 Jono talks to Scott about Celebrity Scissorhands
7.28 Stop Treating Me Like A Kid
7.39 The Six Year Old Psycho Kid
8.15 Laura’s Diary Episode 8
8.45 Yummy Mummys
8.53 Bleeping Out Newsbeat
9.10 Lottery Talk
9.23 Calling Harry from McFly
9.40 Hoff Mania
Goooood Morning!
DO NOT BE ALARMED! if you look at the webcam because Scott has a woman’s head in a plastic bag on the desk. The woman’s head is for Scott to practice cutting hair on for Celebrity Scissorhands.
Scott: “Rubbish!”
More on Celebrity Scissorhands
The hair on the woman’s head is quite nice until Scott cuts it. Chappers wants to know if it is Scott’s new friend. Today Scott is going to cut the heads hair in a ron style. A ron is like a bob but a bit different – it’s like the classic posh spice look and it has a weird pattern at the bottom. If people have applied for any beauty treatment he wants them to get in touch. Jono off of Unofficial Mills rang in about Celebrity Scissorhands. He had a call back from Celebrity Scissorhands yesterday and they offered him calonic erigation twice. Scott didn’t really like the idea of sticking a tube up someone from his fansites ar*e. He would Jono’s hair in the style of a ron instead. Another three people got in touch with the show and said they have been offered calonic as well.
More News on the Phantom Pooer
The Phantom Pooer strikes whilst being alone and has a poo on South East Trains. He has struck 30 times since August; they have now caught him on CCTV. The Phantom Pooer is still out there at the moment they haven’t caught yet. The detective on the charge of the case describes him as exceptionally anti – social. Do not approach him he is dangerous. When George went on one of the South East Trains last night she got two copies of the free paper and sat on one of them. Sophie in Basingstoke thinks she might have snapped a picture of the Phantom Pooer on her camera phone. More news on the Phantom Pooer, he is doing the ultimate smear campaign, he does a poo and then smears it all over the seats. He has caused millions of pounds worth of damage.
Secret Stalker
Scott received an e-mail from a guy called Ben. Ben went out with a girl and they got on pretty well. She understands his slightly leftfield humour and likes a lot of the same things as him: a lot of TV, same kind of hobbies and films. At the end of the night they swapped numbers and went there separate ways. She said she would call him to meet up again. The next day Ben got a message on his voice mail from the girl’s number, the message was ‘leave her alone’, later on he got another message from the same number ‘leave her alone’. It sounds like a small child leaving the messages. Ben rung the girl back and they had a chat, he mentioned the two messages he got from her number but she brushed it off and they arranged to go out on another date. The night before the date Ben got woken up at 2:30 in the morning by his phone ringing and it’s her number. Ben answered the phone and they hung up and Ben switched his phone off. When he woke up the next morning and switched his phone on there were three messages. The first one was ‘she doesn’t want to know you’, the second one ‘you stink’ and the final message was ‘go away’. Later on that night Ben met up with the girl and explained about the messages. She told Ben she has a 6-year-old son and he doesn’t like her going out with other men. The next morning he woke up to find another message on his phone and it’s from her number and this time he said ‘you better watch out’. That boy is slightly disturbed.
Yummy Mummies
Scott somehow managed to get on the subject of ‘yummy mummy’ and he doesn’t like the phrase. But Chappers says it implies that you’ve got a child and you’re attractive. There is another phrase that begins with the letter m but he can’t use that one. People are saying along as your child isn’t a psychopath then yummy mummies are the way forward. Carl off of Leicester is 19 and is now seeing a 37-year-old, he has been seeing her for 6 months and she has 2 kids – he will never go back to seeing someone his own age. In the studio they all decided that the ultimate yummy mummy is Rachel Hunter. Rachel rang to say she’s going out with a yummy daddy – she is 23 and he is 39. Paula in Torquay is a yummy step – granny at the age of 27. Scott thinks Jo Whiley, Lorraine Kelly, Zoe Ball, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jamelia, Madonna, Melinda Messenger and Jules (married to Jamie Oliver) are all yummy mummies. Chappers said yes to all of them apart from Madonna.
Laura’s Diary
Today on Laura’s Diary we found out ‘Ben said Charlotte again in his sleep last night. Laura can’t say anything because if she does he might say let’s end it now. Maybe Charlotte has been flirting with Ben, maybe she secretly fancies Ben. Laura thinks Charlotte has poisoned Ben’s mind and has carved ‘she is evil’ into the page. Laura also wrote a poem in her diary: sometimes I feel we’re so far apart, but you are always in my heart, you are always on my mind, I know you find the words are hard to find, and I never felt like this before, and I’ve never felt so sure, I worry and panic that I’m not right, I think of you when I’m alone at night, are there others you much prefer, whose advances I should deter, knowing exactly what they say, tempting you while the cats away, I know I’d be stupid not to give this ago, but it’s just so hard when you say there’s no tomorrow, why did you say the name of that heartlet, do you hold hidden love of charlotte, I do believe in what will be will be, and maybe we may split, when you could go to uni, but not before I have tried all I can, I am your lady, and you’re my man. Tomorrow the penultimate of Laura’s Diary.
Bleeping Bleep
Yesterday Scott discovered that you can put bleeps in just about anything and make it sound ruder than what it is. It all came about when yesterday Scott wanted to play the florist call that Laura had done. In the call they had put some erotic fiction so they couldn’t play the call on air. Chappers tried to put bleeps in the call to cover up some words and it sounded even worse. Today Scott had a go at doing more bleeping out, this time on George’s news from yesterday. It’s a completely innocent report until the bleeps were added and it now sounds quite rude.
Another TV Appearance
Tonight Scott is going on The National Lottery to press the button and say ‘good luck everybody, it could be you’. Scott thinks they must tell him the numbers beforehand. He could text Chappers the numbers and they he could buy the ticket. But Scott’s plan has been ruined because the ticket machines close at 7:30pm.
Hoff Mania
Hoff Mania (the quiz from hell) is still going – I’m quite surprised. He is still speaking French. Again they all had to guess what The Hoff did last night: he went to bingo in Upper Pubbleton. Today you had to identify the mystery voice.
The Hoff: ‘Calls cost 6 billion pounds per minute.’
Today the prize was a copy of his autobiography Making Waves. Laura thought The Hoff sounded a bit like Yogi Bear. Rob off of Peterborough rang in thinking he was going to speak to Annie Mac. The next caller Lee off of Bath thought he was guessing yesterday’s voice – which was a man. Holly was the last caller and guessed Lily Allen and she was right. Tomorrow is the penultimate of The Hoff.
Myspace
Earlier this week they said that Michaela Strachan has a special talent – she can sneeze with her eyes open. When Scott checked his Myspace page he had a message from Michaela Strachan. The message read ‘I heard you talking about me today, thank you Mr Mills. You better go out and buy yourself a mirror honey’. Scott wasn’t too harsh to her about her special talent. He sent a message back saying ‘you know I love you really’. She sent one back saying ‘hum’. In the end Chappers to send one back saying ‘what you on about freak’.
COMMENTS