A doorbell sings Celine Dion
Chris is away for two days, leaving Scott to present alone without Bangers or Innuendo Bingo. Scott discovers that his troublesome doorbell can change tunes and selects “My Heart Will Go On”. The result makes an ordinary delivery feel like the climax of Titanic, and the person at the door is understandably uncertain how to respond.
Listeners report owning similar bells, including one that can accept uploaded music. The feature creates the worrying possibility that any song can become an unavoidable announcement that somebody is waiting outside.
Not just a voice on a stick
Nineteen-year-old Liam from Cambridge asks Scott to record navigation prompts for a road trip with his girlfriend Rosie. They are planning a journey through Edinburgh, Inverness and the north coast of Scotland, with stretches of six to eight hours in the car.
Scott records a complete collection of sat-nav phrases: the journey time, missed-turn warnings, left and right instructions, roundabout prompts and the reassuring announcement that they have reached their destination. He gives the lines more personality than a standard navigation device, declaring that he is not merely a voice on a stick. Liam leaves with enough material to have Scott accompany the couple for hundreds of miles.
Relationships measured in minutes
A Tinder user says a match rejected them almost immediately because the pairing of Capricorn and Leo was supposedly doomed. The claim prompts listeners to offer their shortest relationships. Examples include a romance that lasted a single day, a physiotherapist who lost interest after noticing somebody’s posture and a break-up delivered by paper aeroplane during a German lesson.
One caller abandoned a date after watching the man approach the bar with a walk compared to Mary Poppins. Another meeting ended over freckles. The stories demonstrate that a relationship does not need time to acquire a very specific reason for failure.
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