Scott and Chris solve food stains
Chris began Friday by dropping barbecue sauce on his white shorts, the latest example of his inability to guide food all the way to his mouth. Scott suggested that he needed to slow down, but Chris wanted a more practical solution.
They proposed a celebrity range of adult bibs, smart enough to protect clothes without making the wearer look like a baby. It joined the programme’s growing collection of products nobody had requested and neatly anticipated the instant business pitches that would occupy the following Breakfast weeks.
Meet the Balls
Laura had been with Daniel for almost four years and could imagine marrying him. The difficulty was his surname, Ball. Once they discussed weddings, children and future dinner parties, she realised that the couple would routinely be described as “the Balls”.
Scott and Chris demonstrated why she was worried by finding as many innocent phrases as possible that became jokes when attached to the name. Laura’s current surname did not combine comfortably in a double-barrelled version either, and Daniel wanted to retain his family name.
The problem extended to possible children. Crystal was immediately ruled out, along with any first name that created another obvious phrase. Scott pointed out that Laura had known the surname from the beginning, but accepted that few people assessed a first date by imagining the wording on future dinner invitations.
Laura still loved Daniel and was not ending the relationship over it. She simply needed time to accept that marriage might turn both of them into “the Balls” everywhere from formal correspondence to nights out with friends.
Foreign lyrics and Friday facts
The programme played another round of its lyric game, using lines heard differently from the words the artist intended. The feature relied on the same permanent problem as the show’s pop-song discussions: once Scott or Chris supplied an alternative phrase, the correct lyric became almost impossible to recover.
Gary Lucy joined Real or No Real. The letter J really was the last addition to the English alphabet, and male crabs really did use a fist-pump-like claw movement to attract females, inevitably returning Scott to memories of his Strictly crab dance.
The programme also announced the guests for Scott and Chris’s two weeks covering the Radio 1 Breakfast Show, beginning with Niall Horan on Monday. Although the source filename says 6 August, the show calls itself Friday throughout and follows Thursday’s Only the Young Bingo, confirming the date as 7 August 2015.
COMMENTS