Taylor Swift is moving in
Chris arrived with a pub rumour that Taylor Swift was moving close to his home. Scott immediately recognised the effect the possibility had on him: Chris was attempting to dismiss it while also wondering whether his long-running friendship campaign had finally brought Taylor into the neighbourhood.
There was no reliable evidence beyond somebody saying they had heard it, but that was enough for Chris to imagine accidental meetings and a future in which Taylor finally understood how convenient his friendship could be. Scott warned that if she really was coming closer, it might be because she was coming to find him.
Four members, one target
Only the Young brought every member of the group to Innuendo Bingo. Rather than reducing the line-up, Scott placed Chris on a spinning chair in the centre and arranged the four singers around him.
The format removed any hope of defending himself. Each clip could send water from a different direction, and the chair turned Chris towards a new opponent before he had recovered from the last one. The X Factor group coordinated their mouthfuls with increasing confidence, while Scott treated the four-against-one imbalance as a perfectly reasonable development of the game.
Sport, food and television supplied the clips, but the spectacle came from Chris rotating through repeated sprays. By the finish the sheeting, chair and everybody close to the game were wet, while Only the Young had achieved one of the most numerically unfair victories in Bingo history.
What pop songs really mean
Scott had found a website claiming to explain the true meaning of almost every pop song. Its confident interpretations turned familiar lyrics into miniature plots, whether or not the artists would have recognised them.
Scott converted the site into a game, presenting its descriptions and asking Chris to identify the song. The literal summaries stripped away the music and made even obvious hits sound like complicated short stories. The exercise also continued the programme’s habit of hearing unintended words and ideas in new releases, a skill that had already ruined several songs for listeners.
Greg James played Real or No Real before looking ahead to Friday’s Official Chart. The next programme was filed under 6 August too, but its repeated Friday references place it on 7 August.
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