Susan Boyle is not playing Bingo
Radio 1’s online schedule had somehow announced Susan Boyle as the day’s Innuendo Bingo guest. Scott had never booked her and apologised to listeners who had arrived expecting an exceptionally unlikely three-way game.
The previous day’s podcast had also contained 50 minutes of silence because of a production mistake. Some listeners stayed through the entire gap expecting a hidden message or surprise song. There was nothing there.
Huw Stephens brings his waterproofs
The actual Bingo guest was Huw Stephens, preparing to travel to Green Man Festival. He arrived in waterproof clothing, which made him better protected than most players but did little for Chris opposite him.
The clips included Charlie Sloth helping his cousin Jack off a horse, Paloma Faith spending six hours in a box with a rabbit and a contestant taking a mouthful of bean. Len Goodman’s family-history programme supplied the strongest line, describing an ancestor seeking “premature discharge from his long penal stretch”.
Huw’s festival preparation turned into a full soaking. The waterproof layer protected some of his clothes, but his face and hair remained exposed to every failed attempt to contain the water.
The angry laundry lady receives a note
Chris had returned the dirty Bingo clothes to the laundrette near Radio 1, where the woman behind the counter routinely behaved as though accepting a service wash was an unreasonable favour. Scott secretly added a handwritten note intended to improve relations.
The plan was to make Chris collect the clothes without knowing what had been written. Scott hoped the message might produce a smile or at least a knowing look, replacing the normal negotiation in which the pair practically begged for their washing to be accepted.
Scott also considered installing a private emergency telephone beside his bed before two weeks covering the Breakfast Show. Only his boss would have the number, allowing somebody to wake him when a silent mobile could not. Greg James ended Real or No Real level with Scott before the team signed off from afternoons and prepared for the 06:30 starts.
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