The child who says “apparently”
Scott had discovered a local television interview with a young American boy who had unexpectedly found himself reporting from a fair. The child repeatedly announced that, “apparently,” he had never been on live television before, then continued using the word as he described the ride.
The clip became instantly addictive. Scott and Chris copied the delivery, listeners supplied their own apparently-heavy reports and the boy’s confidence made the normal radio links sound strangely restrained.
Tyger Drew-Honey gets soaked
Tyger Drew-Honey visited on the day the second series of Cuckoo began on BBC Three. Scott remembered his documentary about modern dating, in which Tyger had thrown himself into online relationships and discovered how exhausting it could be to keep meeting new people.
He then faced Chris in Innuendo Bingo. An unfortunately named American wrestler supplied some of the strongest material, alongside television clips whose innocent descriptions collapsed as soon as they were isolated from their original context.
Tyger committed fully to the game and left soaked, having approached the clips with considerably more confidence than Chris showed opposite him.
Scott is not respectable enough to sign a passport
Chris needed his passport renewed before a trip to Bali and had to find a professional person of good standing to countersign the application. Scott felt he was the obvious choice. Chris did not believe being a Radio 1 DJ met the spirit of the requirement.
Scott was genuinely offended. He had a responsible job, a public profile and years of broadcasting experience, yet Chris preferred to search the building for a journalist, banker, teacher or somebody else whose profession looked safer on the form.
The Edinburgh plan also became clearer. Matthew Lewis would appear in Alice Levine’s late-night show while Scott and Chris staged a piece based on fan fiction written about him. Lewis would not see the final script until the performance. Greg James finished with Real or No Real, including the claim that Roald Dahl had invented the expression FOMO. He had not, leaving Scott free to save that argument for another day.
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