A delayed anthem reaches the radio
After weeks of promises, changing deadlines and scepticism from Chris, Scott was finally ready to play the World Cup song he had made with 5 Seconds of Summer. “Hearts Upon Our Sleeve” was designed as a global football record rather than an England song, with terrace-style chanting, Guy Mowbray’s commentary and a deliberately brief rap from Scott. He maintained that it was better than Pitbull and Jennifer Lopez’s official anthem, “We Are One (Ole Ola)”.
The video made the project look even bigger. It included the recording session with 5 Seconds of Summer, Scott performing his rap and appearances from One Direction and Tinie Tempah. Scott admitted that his group vocal had probably been replaced after he left the studio, although the footage would still show him singing enthusiastically with the band.
Chris approached the launch as though Scott were promoting a title fight. Listeners had been promised the song for so long that some expected a spectacular disappointment, while Scott worried that a radio presenter who knew very little about football might face a backlash for making an anthem. When the clip eventually played, Dev said it was much better than he had expected and compared the rap voice to 2 Chainz. The immediate messages were similarly positive, with listeners asking whether they could buy or download it.
Medieval medicine for a very mild illness
Scott had arrived with a cold and what Chris regarded as an insufficiently ill-sounding voice. Scott argued that he would have fetched drinks and supplies if their positions had been reversed, prompting Chris to propose increasingly impractical treatments. His preferred option was medieval bloodletting with leeches, based on a hazy memory of school history.
The idea quickly attracted management and health-and-safety objections. Chris had not sourced any leeches, did not know precisely what they were meant to cure and had not completed the necessary forms. A dock leaf was suggested as an alternative, despite neither of them knowing where to find one in central London. The failed treatment became another example of Chris confidently offering support that Scott had never requested.
Scott also apologised to students at Bangor University after a fire alarm interrupted his weekend DJ set. He had been made to stop the music and order more than a thousand people out of the hall, receiving loud boos even though the evacuation was necessary. No fire was found, although Scott pointedly remembered that KTB had recently used hair straighteners backstage.
Seizing summer goes wrong in Photoshop
Radio 1 invited listeners to suggest a dream summer experience that could be created for a television trailer with green-screen effects. Chris chose to be lifted aloft with the World Cup in the style of England’s 1966 celebrations. Scott appeared beside him in the mock-up, but the unfinished image placed Scott’s hand dangerously high on Chris’s thigh and added a sinister-looking faceless man on the other side.
Instead of selling the summer campaign, the picture became an extended study of its own mistakes. Scott appeared to have no neck, Chris looked suspicious, and the third figure resembled a masked robber. They reassured listeners that their own submissions would receive more polished treatment, while warning that the sample image might cause nightmares.
Dev learns that Attenborough predates ice-cube trays
Dev played Real or No Real. Keira Knightley had not contributed triangle to a forthcoming Klaxons album, but North Korea’s women’s football coach really had blamed a 2011 World Cup defeat on players being struck by lightning before the tournament.
The final claim was that Sir David Attenborough was older than ice cubes. Once Scott clarified that this meant manufactured drinks cubes rather than naturally occurring ice, Dev still refused to believe it. Attenborough was born in 1926, before the modern ice-cube tray was patented, leaving Dev without a point and giving the programme an improbably effective closing fact before the song’s first play.
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