Curry Club is forgotten
The last morning of Scott and Chris’s Breakfast cover was Good Friday, and Chris expected the promised early Curry Club. Scott had completely forgotten it. Finding a curry at that hour on a bank holiday would have been difficult, but the greater problem was that nobody else had remembered or sent a message asking for it.
Scott promised Curry Club would definitely happen next time they covered Breakfast. Chris accepted the apology with limited enthusiasm, while the programme filled its final hour with music for the bank holiday and left the curry as unfinished business.
Vicky wins Real or No Real
Vicky took a break from chemistry revision for Real or No Real. Kesha had not offered money, concert tickets and a cat in an attempt to acquire somebody else’s Twitter username. Grimmy had not treated insomnia by watching a programme about beavers before his holiday, despite Scott’s confidence that wildlife television would help anybody sleep.
Vicky scored 20 points to Scott’s 10. She returned to revision having defeated him on a morning when the show was also presenting its music hour as a study aid.
Service is selling
Bank holidays meant thousands of listeners were working in shops, so Scott revived an American staff-training song. A group of older employees sang that selling was service and service was selling while demonstrating customer care with the energy of a 1970s television drama.
The song instructed retail workers more through repetition than useful information. Scott encouraged anybody heading to a shift to remember its central message, with the video available for those who needed to see the choreography behind the philosophy.
Meeting the voice of “#Selfie”
Alexis Killacam was a finance student and business analyst intern in New York who knew The Chainsmokers. They asked her to record a deliberately obnoxious spoken vocal in which the beat would drop after “Let me take a selfie”. She agreed after class and then watched the track become an international hit, despite not hearing it on American radio herself before travelling to London.
She explained “ratchet” as something simultaneously disgusting and difficult to stop watching, like a rat in New York or somebody barefoot in a club. Chris attempted to copy “That’s so ratchet” and “Who wears cheetah?” but produced a different wrong accent every time. Alexis had accepted hostile comments about her voice as part of the joke, although one particularly elaborate description left Scott apologising as he read it aloud.
The moon landing gets a new timeline
Scott decided that “#Selfie” would become one of the defining sounds of 2014 and asked how its voice might have covered history. Alexis reimagined the 1969 moon landing as a social-media timeline. The black-and-white filter looked lame, “The eagle has landed” was a poor status update and the astronaut moved so slowly that he became a “moon tease”.
His boots clashed with the stars and stripes, while “one giant leap for mankind” was dismissed with “What about girl kind, douche?” Scott argued that this was how people would have spoken if Twitter had existed, and Chris worried that they were ruining major events rather than celebrating them.
Alexis agreed to record further versions covering the 1966 World Cup, the royal wedding and the bubonic plague. Scott presented them as revision aids, an educational claim bold enough to end the two-week Breakfast run.
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