Candles, crocodiles and “boring, try again”
Chris found the supposedly masculine candle Scott had once given him and remembered his father walking into the bedroom while it was lit. The awkward apology and quick retreat left Chris convinced his dad had misunderstood why he wanted candlelight while alone. Scott thought the embarrassment existed entirely in Chris’s imagination.
The show’s latest Tinder tactic came from one of Chris’s friends. Instead of accepting a dull opening message, he replied, “Boring, try again.” It was a risky attempt to seize control of the conversation, but one match responded with facts about crocodiles. Chris traced the move to Ryan Gosling’s character in Crazy, Stupid, Love and decided its origin explained some of its confidence.
Irish Brian wins Lincoln
After the Loughborough Students’ Union song, listeners supplied another campaign video. Irish Brian wanted to become University of Lincoln Students’ Union president and explained his policies through a version of Lorde’s “Royals”. The harmonies promoted his record as vice-president for welfare and community before a chorus promised that ordinary approaches would no longer do.
The performance was knowingly elaborate, but it worked. Brian won by a landslide with more than 2,000 votes. Scott and Chris congratulated him and concluded that pop-song manifestos might communicate policies more effectively than conventional student politics.
Which member of All Time Low is Jack?
Jack Barakat and Alex Gaskarth arrived in London with time to spare before a signing and accepted the show’s invitation to visit. They discussed touring Europe, direct German interview questions and the difficulty of giving every fan a meaningful moment while a long signing queue kept moving.
Jack took an online quiz designed to reveal which member of All Time Low he resembled. Questions covered instruments, relationships, screaming, bright underwear, public nudity and who should never drive the tour van. The result said he was Alex. Similar quizzes had repeatedly failed to identify their own subjects, suggesting that the internet’s understanding of the band remained imperfect.
Chris then described the sensual chair sequence from Beyoncé’s concert. With no stage prop available, Jack played Beyoncé and Alex became the chair. Jack paddled an imaginary surfboard and performed the routine over his bandmate while Radio 1 filmed the last-minute recreation for its website.
Gemma Cairney’s International Women’s Day Real or No Real confirmed that Monki sometimes struggled to reach the eject button on DJ equipment and Annie Mac really had joined MNEK on stage for a 4am singalong of “Lovely Day”. Annie Nightingale had not taught Paul McCartney to juggle. The facts completed a Friday that had begun with Chris alone beside a candle and ended with two rock stars making love to office furniture.
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