Bamboleo meets the soundalike investigation
The final Wednesday of the month began with “Bamboleo” and continued the investigation into familiar melodies. The Wurzels followed the show’s comparison with George Ezra, giving an old novelty record an unlikely place in a discussion of current pop.
The phrase “This Is My Balls” from the previous day’s Bingo was also edited into a mock dance promo. A clip from Cel Spellman’s show became a supposed celebrity endorsement, allowing a stray piece of speech to acquire the production values of a club release.
Ed Monster versus Doctor Who
Matt Edmondson called to arrange a rap battle for the following day. His proposed material concerned cold meats performed over an Eamonn Holmes-based beat, while Chris planned a list of words beginning with “who” over Busta Rhymes’ “Gimme Some More”.
They adopted the rap names Ed Monster and Doctor Who. Neither identity improved the lyrical premises, but both made the confrontation sound sufficiently official to trail in advance.
DJ VC takes revenge
Access All Areas introduced DJ VC from Neath. The initials stood for “Volume Changer”, and his friend Michael had entered him as a prank after watching him DJ at house parties. Danny Howard and MistaJam had tried to teach him to mix, although the result still galloped noticeably between beats.
Scott offered him revenge. They called Michael and claimed that Radio 1 controller Ben Cooper had been so impressed that DJ VC had received a two-year programme on Radio 1 and 1Xtra at seven o’clock on Saturday nights. The alleged appointment would replace MistaJam.
DJ VC delivered the decisive line: “I’m the new Masterjams.” Michael wanted to be happy for him and partly believed the story, even as its scale became harder to accept. Scott eventually revealed the prank and restored MistaJam to the schedule.
The joke completed a neat journey for Access All Areas. A friend had submitted an amateur party DJ for a listener hour; Radio 1 gave him lessons, a studio and the means to make the friend believe the joke had become a broadcasting career.
Penguins, pizza and Real or No Real
Scott and Chris finished with Real or No Real. Penguins at Scarborough Sea Life Sanctuary really had been prescribed antidepressants after prolonged bad weather. Eamonn Holmes did not have a police station named after him, although an equivalent Kanye West story elsewhere made the invention plausible.
Niall Horan did not fear that thieves would cut off his fingers to defeat fingerprint security. The NME Awards really did rely on takeaway pizza for food. Scott won by thirty points to twenty, closing the month with a rare case in which medicated penguins were less absurd than the fake Radio 1 appointment everybody had just heard.
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