Fearne Cotton returns to Innuendo Bingo
Fearne Cotton returned to Innuendo Bingo after several years away. She arrived determined to keep dry and immediately discovered that determination was not a useful defence against Chris Stark.
Fearne knew the format too well to pretend the water would remain in anybody’s mouth. Chris soaked her through the accumulating clips, and the reunion became less a contest than proof that experience offered no protection at all.
Fake Chris explains himself
The man Susie had kissed came on the telephone. He confirmed that his name really was Chris and said his own mother had noticed the resemblance to Chris Stark. He insisted that he had tried to deny being the Radio 1 presenter, but Susie and her friends interpreted the denial as part of the fun.
Pretending, or failing to prevent other people from pretending for him, had worked remarkably well. He received the kiss and a mention on Radio 1. Susie rated him at the pancakes level on Chris’s breakfast scale, partly because he had specifically asked her for pancakes, and the pair had continued exchanging messages before Valentine’s Day.
Scott considered appointing him as an official double who could take on the real Chris’s less attractive duties. For the moment, they issued a warning: if he was going to be mistaken for Chris Stark, he had to uphold the name’s already fragile honour.
Will Poulter rehearses the wrong BAFTA speech
Will Poulter was nominated for the BAFTA Rising Star Award, and the show offered to improve his acceptance speech. Their advice began with the confident opening “I was expecting this” and moved rapidly away from conventional gratitude.
He was encouraged to call out former teachers, borrow Charlie Sloth’s familiar nose sound, include either “Bamboleo” or “Jigglypuff”, and credit his entire career to the Scott Mills show. Will listened with the composure of somebody deciding how much of the material would survive contact with a real awards ceremony.
Greg’s hotel booking becomes a cot
In Real or No Real, Fearne had not carried Nick Grimshaw in the manner claimed. Barbara Windsor really did ask Father Christmas for a cream polo neck as a child. Annie Mac and Toddla T also experienced a hotel misunderstanding after their booking was heard as “Annie and toddler”, producing a room with one bed and a cot.
The idea that Radio 1’s controller secretly monitored staff through a fake Twitter identity was officially declared untrue. Scott scored forty to Greg’s twenty, although the word “officially” allowed everybody to preserve a little suspicion.
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