An improvised Australia Day
The show declared an unofficial Australia Day because Peter Andre and Chris Lilley were both appearing. Scott knew this was not the real national day and tried not to offend Australians or New Zealanders while building an entire afternoon around the coincidence.
Peter Andre joined Chris for Innuendo Bingo. He arrived prepared, committed to the spraying and became thoroughly drenched by clips involving television cooks, gardening, football and unfortunate phrasing. Scott had worried that another internationally known guest might not understand the game, but Peter required no persuasion.
The news that Ryan Gosling was single produced a rant from Chris about people celebrating as though they had a realistic chance of dating him. He objected to the collective excitement while Scott pointed out that Chris’s own prospects were no better.
Scott meets one of his television heroes
Scott interviewed Chris Lilley before BBC Three showed Ja’mie: Private School Girl. He had discovered We Can Be Heroes on an aircraft and repeatedly watched Phil Olivetti’s attempt to rescue a child from beneath a log. He later ordered Australian DVDs and regarded Summer Heights High as one of his favourite programmes.
Lilley described Ja’mie as an unpleasant, status-obsessed school captain whose final months at school created trouble for her family and classmates. Her relationship with her mother had inspired the spin-off, while scenes involving her boyfriend and older men became much more awkward to perform than they had been to write.
He only remained in character when cameras were rolling, but still discussed Ja’mie as though she were real while editing. The schools and pupils were genuine, so production sometimes paused until students stopped laughing at Mr G’s improvised dancing. Lilley had no formal dance training and changed the movements in every take.
Scott campaigned for a Mr G stage musical and recalled rolling a mile for charity in tribute to Pat Mullins. Lilley hoped to revisit several characters and confirmed that Jonah from Tonga was his next project.
Who invented “quiche”?
Ja’mie used “quiche” to mean somebody or something exceptionally attractive. Lilley said the word was exclusive to her social group and could also describe an outstanding party.
After the interview, Scott announced that he and a friend had independently begun using “quiche” after a shop offered normal-priced quiche and a reduced slice. In their version it meant something expensive or showy. He contacted the friend, who denied telling anybody, and jokingly accused Lilley of stealing their private language.
Josh Franceschi becomes Max
Josh from You Me at Six then took the equivalent band quiz. Its fixed choices repeatedly failed to include his genuine answers, including his favourite colour and preferred song. He finally emerged as Max Helyer rather than himself.
Two consecutive quizzes had now reassigned real musicians to their bandmates. Scott concluded that the tests were unreliable, although the failure was exactly what made them worth continuing.
Nick Grimshaw’s Access All Areas Real or No Real revealed that he had once received a tattoo in a Hackney pub and genuinely found Zane Lowe attractive. A proposed matching anchor-and-ship tattoo with Harry Styles was invented, while Grimmy’s casual admission that Zane was outside the studio produced the day’s most uncomfortable moment.
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