“Which member of the band are you?”
Scott had become absorbed in online quizzes promising to identify which member of a pop group matched the player’s personality. He had already learned that he was supposedly Vanessa from The Saturdays, but there was no evidence that the results meant anything.
The obvious test was to make an actual band member take one. Tristan Evans, drummer with The Vamps, joined from backstage on Taylor Swift’s tour. He had watched the Super Bowl with Taylor and praised her team for looking after the band with fruit and other supplies.
The quiz asked which Vamps song he would make out to, what food he would order, where he expected to be in two weeks, what qualities he liked in a boy and whether he waxed his body hair. Tristan played along, choosing “She Was the One”, a food fight, spring break in Tijuana, attractive eyes and a monthly wax.
Tristan becomes Bradley
The result declared that Tristan was most like Bradley Simpson. Bradley happened to be nearby and briefly came to the telephone, allowing the two supposed versions of the same person to speak.
Scott’s experiment had not validated the quiz, but it was too entertaining to abandon. Tristan accepted being “Bradley”, and Scott arranged to repeat the exercise with another band the following day.
The interview also continued Scott’s Taylor Swift weekend. Tristan confirmed that Mama Swift really did give backstage tours and was as involved in the production as Scott had described.
Liam Payne joins Bamboleo Wednesday
Liam Payne had tweeted Scott during the previous show asking for a holiday shout-out to his girlfriend Sophia. Thousands of One Direction replies followed, many using capitalised phrases such as “OMG, I can’t even”. Scott enjoyed the attention while accepting that virtually every message was really intended for Liam.
Liam sent another photograph from an infinity pool and appeared to be listening again. He repeated the show’s phrases and joined in with Bamboleo Wednesday from holiday, giving the midweek Gipsy Kings ritual an unexpectedly large audience.
Scott and Chris continued trying to understand what fans could not “even” do, but adopted the unfinished phrase as another running joke.
Fearne Cotton plays Real or No Real
Access All Areas moved to Fearne Cotton, who had to open envelopes containing claims about herself. She really had attended Elton John’s Las Vegas show alone after nobody agreed to accompany her, then enjoyed gin and tonics and danced with tourists.
Josh Franceschi from You Me at Six did not have Fearne’s face tattooed on his ankle, and the homemade cakes offered at her house were not secretly bought from a shop. A stranger production story was true: when the BBC failed to secure the appropriate audience arrangements for Top of the Pops in 2006, staff from programmes including Newsnight, Panorama and Gardeners’ World filled the studio and danced in their work clothes.
The day ended with Fearne exposed as somebody prepared to attend a concert alone, bake her own cakes and present pop music to an audience partly assembled from BBC offices.
—
COMMENTS