Innuendo Bingo returns
Rhianna Dhillon, regularly introduced as “Rhianna off of films”, joined Chris for the first Innuendo Bingo of 2014. The studio’s protective sheets and bins had not been prepared, forcing the team to find fresh plastic while discovering that the old bin had become a store for fluff and other rubbish.
The Christmas break had allowed listeners to collect a particularly strong set of clips. A Channel 5 programme promised that Tito would fire his loaded cannon prematurely, while a Radio 4 flood report described several days of relentless pounding. Adele Roberts asked a producer for a chocolate finger, and a woman at a BBC Radio Wales carol concert said that she liked coming very much indeed.
Talksport’s commentary team announced that they were in the Colin Bell stand, Sunday Brunch described Roger Bannister alternating between hard efforts and time off, and Stargazing Live supplied a rod appearing at the bottom followed by a bit of pink. A bird feeder had two openings, Colin Murray told viewers to keep flicking their button and a Countdown contestant offered the eight-letter word “erection”. A listener’s contribution about buying cheese for his wife ended the game with her preference for blue vein.
Rhianna and Chris were drenched by the end. The opening clip about Tito caught them almost immediately, while the Radio Wales, bird-feeder and Countdown contributions produced some of the strongest reactions. Scott was delighted that the break had refreshed the game and generated enough material for a proper return.
Family Fortunes and the survey panel
Scott’s former flatmate had married since his appearance with Scott’s family on All Star Family Fortunes. The programme was finally due to be shown on 2 February, encouraging Scott to imagine a large public screening even though Chris did not want to watch himself.
The former flatmate had also asked a researcher whether the phrase “we asked 100 people” referred to a genuine survey. It did, and he had now been recruited as one of the panel. His future answers would therefore help create the apparently inexplicable results contestants encountered on the programme.
Builders inside celebrity homes
Scott was uneasy about builders being left in his home while he was away. A caller named Grim provided an extraordinary example of what could happen. He and two colleagues had worked on Tinie Tempah’s unoccupied house while it was being renovated and decided that sleeping there would save them travelling.
What began as one convenient night became a two-week stay. They used the beds and bathroom, examined the rooftop Jacuzzi and became familiar with the property’s details, including a huge headboard and giraffe ornament. At about one in the morning, they were woken by a loud knock and found around ten police officers outside. Tinie had returned, seen people in the building and believed his home was being burgled.
Once the builders showed their identification and explained why they were there, Tinie accepted the story and hugged them in relief. Scott decided this confirmed his reputation as one of pop’s nicest people, although the caller then repaid that kindness by describing the house on national radio.
A studio for an hour
Radio 1 opened registration for an Access All Areas Month opportunity which would give listeners a studio for an hour. They could record something, practise DJing, bring friends, press the buttons or simply sit in a famous broadcasting studio. The material might be used in a later programme, but no radio experience was necessary.
Callers proposed reuniting university friends for beer pong, spinning endlessly in the studio chairs and pressing every available button. Scott warned that some controls did unexpected things, including the hidden switch Chris occasionally hit with his knee and blamed for setting off a panic alarm.
A late-night Tap End is approved
Phil Taggart and Alice Levine were hosting comedy performances every evening as part of Happiness Week. Wednesday’s act would be Irish improvisational rap group Abandoman, who had previously appeared with Scott in Edinburgh.
That led to the idea of Chris warming up the audience with 24 Years at the Tap End. He would retell the trip to Prague for Chazza’s 21st birthday, but restore all the details removed from the daytime version. The proposed title became 24 Years at the Tap End: Unplugged, also described as uncut and too hot for daytime.
Scott and Chris began promoting the performance before fully clearing it with management. Listeners were enthusiastic, the boss eventually said yes and the live appearance was fixed for the following night. Chris remained unsure whether saying exactly what happened in Prague before a studio audience was a wise career decision.
Real or No Real
Charlie Sloth returned after admitting that Christmas had involved five days of almost continuous eating. Rihanna was reported to use an app which blocked late-night messages, but the claim was invented. Peter Jackson had not declared a duvet day during The Lord of the Rings, and BBC political correspondent Nick Robinson had not asked a taxi driver to put on 1Xtra.
“Be Kind to Food Servers Month” was real in the United States and had political support, prompting Charlie to explain why friendliness to canteen staff could secure an extra scoop. He and Scott finished level, before attention returned to the much riskier appointment with Tap End the following evening.
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