Does an English accent work in France?
After hearing that French people might find English-accented French attractive, Scott asked Chris to telephone a restaurant and test the theory. Chris introduced himself in the vocabulary he remembered from school, saying that he was 25, lived in Watford and liked côte de boeuf, Mika and One Direction. The woman, Isabelle, recognised immediately that he was English but continued the conversation.
Chris asked whether she liked English men and his accent. Isabelle described the accent as nice and a little sexy, although she remained confused about why a stranger had called her workplace. Encouraged, Chris invited her to a Watford football match and tried to impress her by claiming Rihanna might attend with them. When Isabelle asked what he did, he upgraded himself first to an English celebrity and then to a famous footballer comparable with David Beckham.
The call moved far beyond the planned experiment when Isabelle said she wanted to meet him. Chris proposed chicken and Nando’s, corrected himself after accidentally saying he was 12 and arranged an undefined rendezvous. By the end, Isabelle said his voice made her want an English boyfriend and Chris promised to call again. He came away convinced that his ordinary Pinner accent had transformed him into an international romantic prospect.
Once Chris had left the studio to collect coffee, Scott revealed the truth to listeners. Isabelle was English, not French, and was connected to somebody at Radio 1. Her accent and interest had been part of a setup, but Chris believed every word and was already considering a trip to France. Scott asked the audience not to expose the prank and invited ideas for keeping it alive. When Chris returned, Scott encouraged him to believe the unlikely success was entirely down to his voice.
Colin and the cat flap
Show introducer Colin said he once became stuck in his mother’s cat flap. The claim initially sounded impossible because he described his entire body being trapped around the waist, but he had been only 18 months old. After pushing a toy through the flap, he attempted to follow it and became wedged.
His mother called the emergency services, whose operator reportedly laughed before sending two fire engines. Firefighters spent about 45 minutes freeing him and the story appeared in the local newspaper. Colin’s family later moved about 100 miles away, allowing him to joke that the embarrassment had forced them to leave town. He had since decided that opening the door was safer.
The Bude adventure trip
Rhianna Dhillon joined Scott and Chris for a chapter of 24 Years at the Tap End dedicated to Watford player Carl Dickinson, who had contacted Chris to say he enjoyed the feature. The story returned to Chris’s Year 8 activity holiday at Adventure International in Bude, Cornwall. Teams earned points for challenges and punctuality, and Chris had already abseiled, climbed and attempted surfing.
The next contest involved building a raft from barrels, wooden planks and rope. Chris was selected as its secret motor: he would hold the back while lying in the river and propel it by kicking. At the starting signal, he jumped into the water, but the raft accelerated without him. His life jacket made it difficult to swim flat and the boat disappeared ahead as he flapped in the murky water. The instructor thought he had abandoned ship, but the lighter raft crossed the line first. Chris insisted his absence had been the decisive tactical contribution despite receiving no credit.
The afternoon football tournament reached a goalless semi-final against another school. During the penalty shootout, Chris had to score to keep his team in the competition. He thought of Stuart Pearce, Euro 96 and the pride of his German teacher, Mr Coppel, who stood beside the goal and nodded encouragement.
Chris struck the ball left, immediately saw that it was going wide and watched it hit Mr Coppel squarely in the face. The teacher’s glasses flew off and he fell clutching his eyes, while the opposing team celebrated victory. A reassuring hand on Chris’s shoulder belonged not to a supportive friend but to the deputy head, who marched him over to apologise. Chris remained more upset about losing than injuring his teacher and had not taken a penalty since. The failure also cost his group its chance of becoming Super Team of the Week.
Alan Dedicoat plays the Answers Game
Alan Dedicoat joined the programme, adopted the nickname “Donny” and discussed the possibility of swapping shows with a Radio 1Xtra presenter for Christmas. He then played the Answers Game, in which the contestants heard replies posted online and had to reconstruct the original question.
The single answer “no” belonged to a question asking whether Eminem liked George W Bush. Facebook, Twitter, Justin Bieber and One Direction appeared among responses to “What is something you wish did not exist or was banned?” The final collection suggested playing football with it, taking it outside, giving it away or buying small nappies from a pet shop. Alan and Scott correctly worked out that the question concerned stopping a poodle from urinating on furniture.
A uniform for the show
Scott decided that dressing more smartly would make colleagues take him seriously, before the conversation expanded into a uniform for the entire programme. A matching boiler suit would give the team a mechanic’s appearance while operating the studio equipment. Orange was rejected because it suggested prison clothing, leaving blue as the preferred choice.
Real or No Real
The ITV soap Zane Lowe was not created by combining the first names of Hugh Grant and Emma Bunton. A 15-foot-high house of cards using 1,576 packs and taking two months to construct was real.
There was no dictionary word containing 13 Ls, five Ds, seven Ws and no vowels. Alan finished with 30 points to Scott’s 20, completing a successful visit to the afternoon show.
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