Chris charges at Platform 9¾
Sasha introduced the show after being crowned Miss Rutland and reaching the final of Miss England 2012. She told Scott that around 60 contestants had made the final and that the winner would represent England at Miss World in Inner Mongolia. Scott immediately saw the possibility of another international broadcast after Eurovision and suggested he might host the contest if Sasha progressed.
Chris’s latest attempt to discover whether films work in real life took him to King’s Cross. Recreating Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, he pushed a luggage trolley towards the Platform 9¾ display while Scott played Julie Walters’ instructions from the film. Tourists and a passing police officer complicated the run-up, but Chris eventually shouted “Out the way, Muggles” and collided with the wall, finding neither wizards nor a steam train on the other side.
A listener named Beccy introduced the team to the sausages game after hearing it on The Archers. One person had to answer every question with “sausages” without laughing, with failure punished by crawling beneath a table and barking like a dog. Scott and Chris tried it in the studio, where producer Jacob stood ready to spit water into Chris’s face whenever he broke.
The campaign to make Chris and Elton John friends continued without any response from Elton. A caller asked whether Chris had heard back, while Scott revealed that he had been browsing Elton’s fan-club website for a postal address. Chris still insisted that Pinner and Watford gave them enough common ground for a drink, even after being reminded that Elton no longer drank alcohol.
In Oh, What’s Occurring?, Scott and Chris ordered coffee under the name “Fenton” to count how many times staff would call it while Chris hid in the toilet. A second round counted a Welsh caller repeatedly addressing an MP as “Mr Davies” during an argument on Radio 2. The experiments left Harry Potter firmly classified as unlike real life, although repeatedly shouting a dog’s name in a coffee shop worked exactly as intended.
—
COMMENTS