Chris auditions for Final Score and One Direction’s message sparks an investigation
The show began with an unusually detailed discussion of bath etiquette after Chris confessed that, at 24, he had only recently realised he preferred sitting at the opposite end of the bath. Scott was amazed that this had apparently taken him a lifetime to work out, while Beccy supplied the household rule she had been taught: a man who refuses the end with the taps is not worth keeping. It was the sort of tiny revelation that rapidly became a full programme event.
The team then reopened Beccy’s One Direction case. A listener had noticed what sounded like one of the band saying “really?” immediately after the group told Beccy they loved her in an earlier clip. Rather than dismissing it, Scott, Beccy and Chris replayed the audio and began assigning suspects, with Beccy convinced it was Liam and others suggesting Harry. A sweet message had become a forensic pop investigation in seconds.
Chris was still pursuing his ambition to appear as a football commentator on Final Score. His first exercise was to follow Beccy around Broadcasting House, providing an excitable running commentary as she crossed the road, used a cash machine and considered some free food. The language changed wildly between a gazelle, a giraffe and a rampaging elephant, demonstrating that Chris had enthusiasm but not quite the vocabulary required for live sport.
He then expanded the practice session by reporting from around Radio 1 as though he were stationed at different grounds. Chris handed between several versions of himself in reception, a studio and the toilets, inventing a streaker at the entrance to make an otherwise ordinary afternoon sound dramatic. Scott loved the ambition, but the exercise made it clear that Chris was perhaps better suited to golf, or at least a sport with fewer facts to get right.
Elsewhere, Posh Radio 4 Lady dealt with emails about shops deliberately keeping their lights low, a possible room for David Hasselhoff and an offer to buy the team Christmas presents. The episode’s loose, end-of-week energy meant every ordinary observation, from a dad using a phone torch in Hollister to Chris announcing a possible future as a streaker, was allowed to grow into something much bigger.
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