Scott invents Stark Sports for hopeless athletes
Scott and Beccy began with an orchestral reworking of Rebecca Black’s Friday, made by the American arranger Walter Ribeiro. The grand treatment made the song sound, in Beccy’s view, as though it belonged in an overenthusiastic theme-park advert, but it prompted a game of identifying other familiar tracks from their orchestral versions.
Revision Week was properly under way. Laura, facing a sixth hour of GCSE RE revision, was promised a sanctioned break before five, while Scott directed listeners to BBC Bitesize for the genuinely useful material. The show’s own contribution was less orthodox: listeners were told to stand up, stop revising and enjoy the designated revision-break song.
Chris then admitted he had spent a pleasant afternoon watching ordinary people play tennis at his local park. He preferred their wild misses and unconvincing swings to elite sport, and Scott immediately saw a television opportunity. Their proposed channel, Stark Sports, would show normal people playing sport badly in full professional-looking kit, complete with breaking-news bulletins about missed shots.
Listeners supplied the early programme ideas, including golf disasters, missed tee shots and balls flying off snooker tables. Scott was delighted by the thought of a channel that treated the people most sports coverage ignores as the stars, while Beccy was earmarked for an out-and-about presenting role rather than a studio desk.
The Lady Gaga documentary also became a running concern. Scott replayed his apology to The Wombats’ Murph, still calling him “Marv” despite the correction, before setting up a game about songs Gaga had and had not written. Beccy’s latest talking-head booking for the documentary was Billie Piper, a choice Scott regarded as the most obvious possible Lady Gaga authority.
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