Ham the duck
Scott followed reports about Ham, a duck in Lancashire accused of terrorising the local community.
Ham had chased bin lorries, foxes and pedestrians and had attempted to enter people’s homes.
The owner had struggled to understand how the duck kept escaping, even after the council inspected the garden.
Listeners responded with stories of being chased by geese, turkeys and other unexpectedly aggressive birds.
The case for getting a dog
Lauren shared the 23-point list she had once sent to her boyfriend to persuade him that they should get a dog.
Her reasons included gaining a permanent friend, having somebody to blame smells on, improving home security and potentially winning Britain’s Got Talent.
The final point simply said: “Please.”
The list eventually worked. Four years later, Lauren had the dog but no longer had the boyfriend.
Scott concluded that she had made a fair exchange.
The Birthday Game: Sarah
Sarah from Cambridge turned 40 and ran local Brownies, Guides and Rangers groups.
Her husband Mark had given her a giraffe-shaped toilet brush for Christmas, although this was partly redeemed by tickets to an Ibiza Classics concert with a heritage orchestra.
Her first Birthday Game spin was Gayle’s abcdefu, number one in 2022. Sarah rejected it because it was not her style.
The second was Oasis’s All Around the World, number one in 1998.
Sarah accepted it, pleasing colleagues in her HR department who were listening and had warned her to choose well.
Stacey Solomon
Stacey Solomon joined Scott before the return of Sort Your Life Out.
They discussed her home, Pickle Cottage, her pregnancy and the popularity of her decluttering programme.
Scott also confronted rumours that Stacey was Fawn on The Masked Singer.
She looked him in the eye and denied it. Scott decided he believed her, although he warned he would be furious if the mask eventually came off and revealed Stacey.
Listeners had also suggested that Scott himself was the character Rubbish. He denied that too.
The Same Interview
Scott used questions from an interview Stacey gave in 2011, during the period after The X Factor.
Asked whether fame interfered with the weekly shop, modern Stacey said it did not and that she could still shop in Asda without a disguise.
Her earlier answer had made essentially the same point.
Asked how fame had changed her, Stacey said she did not think of herself as famous. In 2011, she had promised never to become anyone other than herself.
Her backstage demands had evolved only slightly. The old answer was Diet Coke and pickles; the modern version remained Diet Coke alongside savoury snacks such as pepperoni.
The clearest match came when Scott asked whether she had ever experienced anything supernatural.
Both versions of Stacey answered no and made clear that she did not want to. She remained frightened of horror films and ghosts.
Stacey said the old answers were less embarrassing than she had expected.
Handover
Scott handed over to Sara Cox after thanking Stacey and recommending the new series of Sort Your Life Out.
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