London fails the Christmas market test
Scott visits the South Bank expecting a major Christmas market and finds only a handful of huts. He asks listeners to nominate somewhere more convincing and considers travelling to Birmingham or another city before the week ends.
The studio has already created its own seasonal atmosphere with crackers and a strong smell of Camembert. One producer is so disturbed by cheese that the decision to serve it early in the morning becomes a genuine workplace problem.
Laura loves absolutely everything
Chris introduces his friend Laura as the most positive person in the world. She adores Christmas, wants every house to display lights and refuses to let her boyfriend’s Grinch-like attitude reduce her excitement.
Laura is disappointed that Scott has no exterior lights but reassures him there is still time. She enjoys a plastic hand-clapper from her cracker, laughs at the oldest jokes and then attempts a favourite story about a woman from Hungary, forgetting both its middle and punchline while remaining delighted by the experience.
A legendary dinner-party argument returns
Door 20 of the Whooovent Calendar contains Peter Marsh’s furious Come Dine with Me speech to Jane. His demand that she take the money and leave his property, delivered with the grace-and-decorum insult, instantly recreates the online drama from earlier in 2016.
The day’s Real or No Real includes unusual airport animals, and Bangers finishes one apiece. Laura’s enthusiasm remains the defining part of the morning, leaving Scott wanting to borrow her view of the world.
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