A needy follow finally works
Chris’s campaign to make Becky Hill follow him had succeeded. He had repeatedly followed and unfollowed the singer in the hope of attracting attention, then discussed the failure on air. Someone sent Becky the clip and she immediately followed him, apologising because she had not realised the show had mentioned her.
The outcome solved the original problem while making Chris look much needier than intended. Repeating the entire story on Radio 1 risked embarrassing him again, so he promised never to mention Becky before immediately continuing.
Greg James dresses as a bird
Greg arrived for Innuendo Bingo wearing a cockerel outfit. Chris appeared to be a recently shaved chicken, giving the live cameras one of the game’s stranger visual combinations.
Clips came from women’s tennis, BBC Breakfast, Winterwatch and England’s defeat by Iceland, including commentary on Raheem Sterling coming inside a sleeping full-back. Greg also promoted Superstar Wrestlers, his BBC iPlayer documentary about the people and machinery behind WWE.
The game produced an especially strong reaction from listeners. Greg was soaked, Chris’s costume became increasingly bedraggled, and Scott once again struggled to pronounce Innuendo Bingo immediately after presenting it.
The producer’s Glastonbury wash
The programme’s producer finally revealed what had happened at 06:00 on Sunday. Covered in mud, he found a tap and stripped to his boxer shorts. An older bearded stranger appeared and used his bare hands to help wash him.
Nobody understood why the producer had accepted the assistance or kept the story quiet until Tuesday. Scott concluded that Glastonbury truly offered something for everyone, while listeners asked whether the stranger behaved like Germany manager Joachim Löw and sniffed his hands afterwards.
The producer’s phone had also become unusably slow. He deleted important apps before discovering that he had recorded 45 minutes of Coldplay, including the aftermath of their set, and filled most of the device’s storage.
Gary’s final verdict
Unlucky Gary had survived all five days but described the festival as awful. The mud and toilets outweighed the music, his journey home involved sitting for three hours in a car trapped in a field, and he would have preferred to watch the coverage on iPlayer.
He had seen Muse, Adele and Jess Glynne but missed Coldplay because his group chose Earth, Wind & Fire. A welly became embedded so deeply that the stranger helping him also got stuck. Somebody took his bedding, he made no new friends and his favourite meal was a steak burger he immediately queued to buy again.
Gary’s first food in freedom was a curry. Scott wanted to send him to more festivals, but Gary declared the experiment complete and said he was never going back.
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