Peace and love from Ringo
Scott had become obsessed with Justin Bieber’s Snapchat appeal for fans to approach him respectfully when requesting photographs. Bieber’s serious tone and repeated question about why people had travelled to see him reminded Scott of Ringo Starr’s famous 2008 video asking fans to stop sending items for him to sign.
Ringo’s repeated promises of “peace and love” sat awkwardly beside his warning that anything posted after 20 October would be tossed. Scott replayed the message throughout the programme and considered recording his own version to discourage unwanted emails.
Adele becomes a hot dog
Adele Roberts arrived from Radio 1’s early Breakfast Show expecting to play Innuendo Bingo. When the players worried about what to wear, Scott sent them into the fancy-dress cupboard rather than allowing protective coats.
Adele emerged in the hot-dog costume previously worn by Sam Faiers. Chris wore the body of Jameela Jamil’s old chicken costume, but its missing head forced him to add a Stetson. The combination made an already ridiculous game look even stranger to the online audience.
The clips included an expert asking an antiques owner about her bell, a string quartet being asked for “a little strum”, Bill Turnbull describing something that had become big and pink, and a weather programme explaining that haboob sandstorms could be enormous. The last of those repeatedly caught Adele in the face and also allowed Scott to claim that the game was educational.
Other contributions covered a town pumper, plastic manufacturers dipping their balls into a solution and a sausage judge discussing how much sausage she ate. Both players finished soaked, while one listener warned against hearing the game during a tattoo appointment because laughing at the wrong moment was too risky.
The Queen of Houdini
Gary’s disappearing act prompted Sammy to declare herself the Queen of Houdini. During a night out with her boyfriend, she had left without explanation, walked four miles barefoot to her mother’s house and, unable to get inside, slept in the shed using a bag of rags as a pillow.
Her boyfriend did not believe the story and ended the relationship. Sammy nevertheless woke up angry that he had not found her, despite having no reason to know where she had gone. Scott concluded that the disappearance was not merely confusing but spectacularly high maintenance.
The call inspired listeners to admit their own behaviour. Olivia said she had reached the point where she became annoyed if her boyfriend did not explicitly acknowledge how high maintenance she was. Even when he anticipated what she wanted, she could turn it into an argument because he had not responded in the expected way. Scott promised to continue the subject the following day after hearing from people who actively preferred demanding partners.
The Student Tour becomes enormous
Scott and Chris confirmed the five stops on the following week’s Student Tour: Stirling, Liverpool, Harper Adams, Aberystwyth and Southampton. Each normal afternoon show would come from a university and be shown on the BBC Red Button, complete with music videos and material designed for the students at each location.
Charlie Sloth returned to Real or No Real after Live Lounge Month. He admitted to carefully arranged clothes, trainers and socks, separate rooms for different parts of his wardrobe and assistants who returned and laundered everything after use. His hat remained essential to the Alan Dedicoat persona the programme had created for him.
Charlie correctly rejected a claim about The Weeknd owning the world’s largest collection of souvenir tea towels, but the game also revealed a genuine self-listing artwork that returned itself to eBay whenever it connected to Wi-Fi. He finished by attempting to play material from his Snapchat, creating precisely the kind of broadcast risk Scott had expected.
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