LunchMoney Lewis sings about Mills
“Bills” by LunchMoney Lewis was Radio 1’s Track of the Day, but Grimmy’s observation that the chorus sounded like “I’ve got Mills” gave Scott a more personal interpretation.
Scott had championed the track weeks earlier and obtained a specially recorded “Mills” version. LunchMoney Lewis altered the words to include Scott’s mouth, feet and daily workload, leaving Chris envious that his own name did not fit the song.
Who Friday
Scott had invented another social-media day. For “Who Friday”, he would publish an old picture with somebody who had once been famous enough to recognise immediately and ask followers to identify them.
The first photograph featured Jesse Metcalfe, the gardener from Desperate Housewives. Scott considered it ideal because people who could no longer name him still commented that he remained attractive.
Chris thought the idea was good but accused Scott of trying to own every day of the week, particularly when Wednesday already belonged to “In for Grimmy This Week on Breakfast”. Scott insisted anybody with an old celebrity photograph could join by using exactly three Os in “Whooo Friday”.
The proposal emergency
Kodaline announced that they would help a man propose to his girlfriend in a London pub and stream the event live. The band’s song “The One” made emotional sense, but the public setting gave Scott and Chris a severe case of second-hand nerves.
They watched videos of proposals which had failed in shopping centres and on television. A man abandoned beside a food-court guitarist demonstrated the danger, while Ellen DeGeneres had once built a prize giveaway into a staged rejection so the audience could change the mood immediately.
As Kodaline entered the pub and the man produced a guitar, the woman initially looked uncertain. She accepted, the band played “The One” and the show confirmed that no emergency distraction had been required.
Ladies Day returns
Aintree’s Ladies Day reminded Scott of an annual feature whose purpose he could no longer remember. Listeners said it marked the warmer weather and the point at which people traditionally uncovered their legs.
Scott adopted the voice of a 1950s newsreader and announced that tights could be put away and winter leg hair removed. The feature expanded to include men’s grooming, waxing, epilating and one listener shaving in a supermarket car park, which Scott strongly discouraged.
The result was less a structured feature than Scott granting the nation permission to prepare for summer. He was alarmed by the number of people who claimed they had acted immediately.
Bubble tea and Real or No Real
Scott declared bubble tea the most disgusting drink he had tasted because of the chewy tapioca balls. Listeners divided between enthusiastic defence and equally strong revulsion, while Chris thought the criticism would only encourage more people to try it.
Danny Howard joined Real or No Real. Diplo really chose his name from a childhood fascination with Diplodocus, fax technology genuinely predated the first chocolate bar, and Mark Ronson wrote the short theme for Jonathan Ross’s ITV chat show.
Scott finished the week by forgetting that Danny himself had played Tuesday’s Innuendo Bingo, an awkward lapse while Danny was still sitting beside him.
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