Joanne arrives with gaffer tape
Scott knew his dance training had entered a new phase when Joanne Clifton brought gaffer tape to rehearsal without explaining what she intended to do with it. He chose not to investigate on air and concentrated on speaking as little as possible before returning to her.
The live shows were approaching, and the mystery tape seemed consistent with a routine that had already given Scott a blister and demanded simultaneous control of his arms, feet and facial expression.
Freshers join everything
With new students attending freshers’ fairs, Scott asked about the societies people joined despite knowing they would probably never attend. Suggestions included Harry Potter yoga, a cheese society, windsurfing and kite clubs.
One caller described a weekly Lord of the Rings society involving discussion and reenactment. Scott expected its membership to increase immediately after the free Radio 1 publicity, even if most people still disappeared after the first meeting.
Sarah-Jane and Matt simulcast a soaking
Sarah-Jane Crawford arrived without make-up and with a suitcase left over from travelling to The X Factor judges’ houses. Matt Edmondson wore swimming shorts and a clear brace across his lower teeth.
The brace was supposed to be removed for Innuendo Bingo, but Matt could not prise it free. He warned Sarah-Jane that she should put it somewhere safe if it flew into her, rather than accidentally swallowing it.
The game aired on Radio 1 and 1Xtra at the same time. Sarah-Jane had previously persuaded Chris to show restraint by mentioning her make-up and later plans; Matt had no such history with her and was expected to attack immediately. Both arrived prepared for the resulting soaking.
George Ezra studies French ducks
George Ezra returned after his Live Lounge to play Real or No Real. The first claim said French ducks were represented as saying “coin coin” rather than “quack quack”, leading to a long argument about whether the animals themselves sounded different or merely received different words in French.
The statement was real. George approached the rest of the game with the same careful logic, although the strange facts rarely rewarded it.
A listener also recommended Bad Bridesmaid, a reality programme in which an actress joined a hen weekend and behaved appallingly while the genuine bride secretly watched. After the disappointment of Hot Tub Britain, Scott had finally found the trash television he had expected.
COMMENTS