The Innuendo Bingo laundry finally moves
Chris had allowed the wet clothes from two weekly games of Innuendo Bingo to accumulate beneath his desk. The Radio 1 office now complained about the stale smell and the area looked like the end of a festival. Friday became Laundrette Day, important enough for Chris to photograph himself carrying the bag.
He returned to the same laundrette where accepting washing always became a negotiation. The member of staff initially said no, insisted everything must arrive before 11 and allowed the customer to reach the door before reluctantly agreeing to do it “just this once”. Scott had tested the routine himself and received exactly the same treatment. Chris kept returning partly because he enjoyed the ritual hostility.
Viewers inspect every Selfie mistake
The Selfie history video had passed 45,000 views, bringing praise and close examination. Scott’s lip-synching was judged much better than Chris’s, which Scott credited to years of practising with Britney Spears videos and a mirror. One viewer called the film either the best or worst thing they had ever seen, a verdict the show happily accepted.
Other viewers found a modern smartphone in 1969, present-day people visible through a diner window and a confused man trying to walk through the door during filming. The programme had been unable to secure a football stadium, so some nearby steps stood in for the 1966 World Cup.
The largest substitution came during the plague scene. Scott’s masked body double was Brian Belo, the 2007 Big Brother winner, who happened to be meeting Chris for a drink and was recruited at short notice. Brian was much taller and his hands made the switch obvious. He had previously stood in for Scott during a live performance of the show’s Christmas song, so this became his second unexpected appearance as substitute Scott Mills.
A listener reaches Pig Beach
Stephanie called from the Bahamas, where she worked on a superyacht and listened online. On her day off she had travelled to Pig Beach, the island destination regularly discussed on the programme, where swimming pigs approached visitors in search of food.
She had printed a Scott mask and wore it with her bikini while feeding the pigs, giving him the closest thing yet to visiting. The photograph delighted Scott, although Stephanie could neither invite him aboard the yacht nor reveal the famous guests due to arrive. She also reminded him that he had once signed part of her body during a club appearance in west Wales.
Scott asked her to plant a flag on a future visit and investigate whether the beach might host Radio 1’s Pig Weekend. The idea of live radio, a beach and roaming pigs sounded entirely workable to him.
Bruce reveals the complete routine
Scott had long enjoyed a documentary clip in which Bruce Forsyth performed an exercise while counting “40 of those”. After viewers alerted him to The One Show, he discovered Bruce had demonstrated his entire Tibetan routine on television.
It involved 21 repetitions in one direction, 21 in the other, stretches, sets of 30 and a final hundred hand movements. Scott and Chris attempted to follow the spoken instructions without being able to see exactly what “those” meant. Scott wanted a full Bruce Forsyth workout video and admitted that merely hearing the presenter’s voice made him pull a Bruce face.
Parents test the new partners
More listeners responded to the boyfriend-initiation discussion. Amy’s builder father took her new boyfriend into the garden, picked up a breeze block and challenged him to a lifting contest. Both men loved the gym, and the father had apparently prepared a direct test of strength. Amy watched through the window while her boyfriend’s face became steadily redder. He passed, remained her boyfriend and eventually became a favourite with her dad.
Another listener said her mother had arranged a background check. The stories expanded the feature beyond fathers but preserved the same principle: a new partner was unlikely to object, however strange the test became.
Real or No Real dates sliced bread
Danny Howard played Friday’s Real or No Real. Bruce Forsyth really was older than sliced bread: Bruce was born in February 1928, while commercially sliced bread first went on sale in July. Danny initially interpreted the question as asking whether Bruce was older than bread itself, making the revelation even more surprising.
Recent statistics really did say one in 14 men dyed their hair, provoking another inspection of the men in the studio and renewed suspicion around Scott’s colour. Dolly Parton genuinely hid her microphone battery pack inside her wig to keep it away from her famously small waist, although the claim was briefly complicated by somebody mistakenly linking her to Alan Shearer rather than Miley Cyrus.
The final story, that Gary Lucy had tweeted Coldplay’s “The Scientist” lyrics after a late-night DJ appearance in Vauxhall, was false. It sounded exactly like the kind of emotional post somebody might delete the following morning, and Gary had indeed been out that night, but he did not know the words well enough. Scott won 20–10, closing the month with Bruce, sliced bread and Danny’s lingering disbelief.
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