Back to afternoons after Easter
Scott and Chris returned to their normal programme after two weeks of Breakfast and a long Easter weekend dominated by chocolate and pizza. Scott had reached the point of craving vegetables and eaten peas, green beans and broccoli because he feared developing scurvy.
Chris had quietly investigated gym membership, suggesting that even his year-round devotion to pasta had limits. Scott interpreted it as the start of the annual beach-body panic, while Chris refused to make any promise about the speed or success of the transformation.
Charlotte’s experience
Charlotte Crosby visited before the launch of The Charlotte Crosby Experience, for which Chris had recorded promotional voiceovers. The series took her to Japan, India, Canada and the Arctic, placing her inside communities and situations far outside Geordie Shore.
She disliked the way she looked when dressed as a geisha in Japan, describing herself as an awkward elephant, and hinted that the Canadian visit had become distressing. Despite new programmes and public recognition, she still considered Geordie Shore her roots and its cast her family. Nights out had changed because cameras followed the group and strangers occasionally threw the limes from their drinks at her head.
An eyelash emergency
Charlotte entered Innuendo Bingo promising not to hold back. Lisa Tarbuck read a message from a woman taken up the Shard by her husband, an estate agent came across rich people and Come Dine with Me warned that badly secured flaps could leave beef hanging out.
The water caused one false eyelash to detach and slide down Charlotte’s face. Scott initially thought her eyebrow or even her eye was coming off, while Charlotte removed the lashes and continued. John Inverdale put a finger in a dyke, a scaffolding employee worked in the erection department and a father-in-law liked to spit-roast anything.
Charlotte laughed before some clips had even reached their punchlines and then began scooping water from her mouth to throw at Chris. By the end, one eyelash remained in the Bingo bin and the image of her face apparently falling apart had become the game’s most alarming moment.
White Dee becomes a DJ
Smartphone footage showed White Dee from Benefits Street performing her first DJ set in Sutton Coldfield on Easter Sunday. The event had been advertised as a roadblock and the crowd appeared enthusiastic, although Scott and Chris were unsure how much of the music she actually controlled.
They could hardly object after encouraging Big Mo’s DJ career in March. Celebrity appearances had developed into a market where almost anybody associated with reality television could stand behind the equipment, wave to a crowd and become the night’s advertised attraction.
Selfie Girl reaches the 1966 World Cup
The programme replayed how Alexis Killacam became the voice of “#Selfie” and her moon-landing version from Good Friday, then revealed the next historical commentary. The 1966 England team’s shorts became hot pants that were “so ’66”, and the match appeared to have continued far too long before the famous “They think it’s all over” moment.
Scott maintained that the short scripts could replace traditional GCSE history because listeners remembered Alexis’s voice and phrasing. The bubonic plague remained his favourite forthcoming subject, with the royal wedding and a full video also being prepared.
Charlie Sloth and the emoji-speaking Siri
Charlie Sloth returned for Fact Tuesday after refusing the Breakfast Show’s early invitation. Siri really could read emoji descriptions aloud, including thumbs-up signs, manicures and smiling piles of poo. The discovery offered an entirely new vocabulary for the Sack of Shame.
Kiesza did not own and fly a jetpack at weekends, although her history of sailing made the claim plausible. Madonna really had been dismissed from Dunkin’ Donuts after squirting jelly at a customer, while the claim that The 1975 had only one unreleased song left on their debut album was false after an initial scoring confusion. The facts also produced plans for a Radio 1 and 1Xtra adventure trip, largely because Scott wanted to see Charlie cross monkey bars with one hand.
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