A muggle at Platform 9¾
Looking through photographs from the Student Radio Conference trip reminded Scott of King’s Cross. A permanent Platform 9¾ attraction now offered tourists a trolley apparently disappearing into the wall, a Harry Potter scarf and a member of staff whose day consisted of placing that scarf around one visitor after another.
Scott did not understand the appeal and spent up to 15 minutes wandering near the display while people took photographs. Chris accused him of deliberately photobombing Harry Potter fans by standing beside the trolley, looking lost and pretending to tie his laces. Scott insisted he was merely examining it, but a photograph showed him lurking in precisely the wrong place. Listeners called him a muggle, which required another explanation because he knew as little about that word as the attraction.
Lexi defeats Scott completely
Spray tanner Lexi joined Real or No Real. A New York restaurant really had started searching every customer online before accepting a reservation, while Tristan from The Vamps had not appeared on Nerf-gun packaging as a child. Mika was not currently judging the Venezuelan version of The Voice.
Lexi scored 30 points and Scott failed to collect any. She found the Nerf-gun idea inexplicably funny, while Scott accepted a rare 30–0 listener victory before she returned to work.
Chris’s Ryan Gosling problem gets worse
A listener sent Chris a shirt covered with dozens of Ryan Gosling faces. It arrived as Radio 1’s revision campaign used Gosling photographs and lines such as “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.” Chris felt the actor was being inserted into everything and resented the assumption that he was perfect.
Research only made matters worse. Lists of facts revealed that Gosling had built the table used in The Notebook and produced one admirable story after another. Katie contributed that his eyes were close together and his smile looked smug, but even she admitted these were weak objections. The discussion overran her showbiz slot, allowing Chris to blame Ryan for ruining yet another thing without the actor knowing that any of it was happening.
Lady Gaga builds the artRAVE
Lady Gaga called from Chicago while rehearsing the artRAVE: The ARTPOP Ball. The arena would contain a huge transparent stage extending over the crowd, with fans able to walk below the performers and a bar inside the structure. Scott advised careful underwear choices; Gaga replied that she probably owned more panties than clothes.
Her seven-minute “G.U.Y.” film combined “ARTPOP”, “Venus” and the single into a story of a fallen angel reaching Hearst Castle, being baptised back into reality by reality television and reclaiming power. The cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills represented a culture built around perception, judgement and watching other people’s lives. Lisa Vanderpump’s dog Giggy joined the stars in helping Gaga replace the people who had shot her from the sky with clones.
Scott said Gaga could become president because of the way she delivered the explanation. She firmly rejected that career and described herself as a hands-on director who moved between costumes, choreography, lights and cameras while keeping the set positive.
A message for Lily Allen
Lily Allen had described Gaga as a martyr to art. Gaga replied that she had always been a fan and appreciated Lily standing up for artists rather than turning creativity into competition. Musicians supporting one another helped everybody make what they loved.
Chris concentrated hard but lost the thread as the answer expanded into wholehearted support and unconditional love for music. Scott added award-show music to demonstrate how it might sound if Gaga had to leave the stage, then promised a translation. Lily herself was due on Thursday, giving the show an immediate opportunity to find out whether another artist understood it more easily.
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